Real Pirates
by sparrows-n-swanns
Summary: This is the untrue story, of seven pirates and their pet monkey, picked to live in a house and start getting unreal. Inspired by the show: The Real World. I don't own POTC characters, or The Real World!
1. The Roomies

This is very loosely inspired by the show The Real World. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Captain Jack Sparrow enters through a window, "First one here, means I get to pick me bed first!" he says, and begins searching around cautiously. He walks into a room, and spies a bed that is shaped like a ship, and the room is blue like the ocean. Obviously, he chooses it as his room. As Jack checks out his new digs, someone else enters the house. **"**Hello? Anyone here?" Elizabeth Swann, _excuse me_, Elizabeth Turner, calls out. She has many suitcases. Jack peeks his head out his bedroom door, "Lizabeth?" Jack asks, very confused.

"Jack!" Elizabeth exclaims, followed by a moment of awkward silence.

**"**Yer not a pirate! And..and I know you!" Jack points out.

**"**Is this a joke?" Elizabeth asks, ready to laugh.

"Maybe there was a.." Jack begins, but is interrupted, by a new member coming into the house.

A man enters the house, he looks like William Turner.

**"**Will?" Elizabeth asks, and squints her eyes.

"Elizabeth!" Will yells out, and runs over and gives her a hug.

**"**What are you doing here?" If only Elizabeth sounded as excited.

**"**Well..I heard they were looking for a cast of pirates and well..here I am!" Will says excitedly.

Jack is rummaging through cupboards, the fridge, and closets, to find some rum, when he notices his favorite person, William.

**"**Oh no." Jack mutters.

**"**Jack. What is Jack doing here?" Will turns to Elizabeth.

Jack makes his way over to Will,** "**What am I doin' here? What are you doin' here? Yer not a pirate!"

**"**I'm just as piratey as you, after all, I put up with you for what felt like forever." Will says very seriously.

Suddenly Elizabeth talks,** "**Maybe we are the last pirates left?"

Jack and Will stare at Elizabeth, unsure of what she is talking about. Just when Jack and Will start glaring at each other, the door opens once again.

**"**Tia Dalma! How nice to see you! Yer lookin'...now that yer here, get us out of here." Jack smiles.

**"**Jack, calm down, at least we all know each other. Maybe it won't be so bad.." Elizabeth mentions.

**"**Easy for you to say, you already killed me once before!"

**"**Oh my God, are you STILL talking about that?" Elizabeth asks Jack.

**"**Okay okay, everyone relax. There was obviously a mistake." Will insists.

**"**Of course there was, yer suppose' to be Captain of the Flyin' Dutchman! Now we are all goin' to be sufferin' in the locker!" Jack reminds him.

**"**That's not even what the curse states." Will says.

**"**Does anybody know what the bloody curse states?" Jack asks, looking around.

**"**Not really.." says Will.

"No." says Elizabeth.

**"**Ey, I tink I made it up as I went along..." Tia explains.

**"**Great." Jack says sarcastically.

The door opens again, and this time it is James Norrington, with wig and all. Everyone stops and stares, "You're definitely not a pirate!" they shout.

**"**Yes, I know. I pulled some strings." James explains.

Elizabeth smiles, "James! I thought you died."

**"**No. It was just a little scratch. I'm fine now." James smiles.

**"**That's strange, I'm pretty sure you were stabbed with a sword. Anyway, its good to see you." Elizabeth looks at James.

"It's good to see you as well, Elizabeth." James states.

Will is not having it, and rolls his eyes.

**"**Well, this is lovely." Jack jokingly says.

"Now that we are all here, where exactly is the rum?" he asks.

**"**First of all we aren't all here, and I thought you wanted to get out of here. I'm not stopping you." Will corrects him.

**"**Will, mate. I do want to get me self out of here. However, I NEED SOME BLOODY RUM FIRST!" Jack shouts.

**"**Ay everyone!" Anamaria says, entering the house.

**"**Oh, hi." Elizabeth glares.

**"**Hello." Will smiles.

**"**Yes, hello." James says, not recognizing her.

Tia sits on the couch, cross legged, staring at the others in the house.

**"**Thank goodness yer here mate! I was about too.." Jack trails off.

**"**Whats with the change in mood, Jack?" Will asks.

**"**Well maybe it won't be so bad. After all, there are WOMEN here." Jack points out.

**"**Well there are two women here, and one happens to be Elizabeth, which doesn't count." Will explains.

**"**What is that supposed to mean? Tia is here as well, remember?" Elizabeth asks.

**"**Sure, her too." Will mumbles.

"Well, I was just saying, that, well Jack was like, there are women here, emphasis on women, and I thought he was talking about you too and you and I are kind of together and.." Will tries to explain.

**"**Will, I can handle myself fine, thank you." Elizabeth glares, and crosses her arms.

**"**There are only six of us here, where is the last person?" James asks.

Just then, a monkey comes flying through the door.

**"**Isn't that..we have a monkey for a roommate?" Jack smirks.

**"**That is what it looks like." Will says.

**"**I was'n talkin' about you Will. I mean the one that just came through the door." Jack points.

**"**I hate you already. Does this mean Barbossa is coming?" asks Will.

**"**NO! I will not be living with a bunch of gross pirates." Elizabeth sits down, not realizing she just sat down next to Tia.

**"**But that is what you signed up for, and we kind of are all _gross_ pirates." Will explains.

**"**Oh. Yeah. Well, I still don't think it could be him."

**"**If it is, it will be exist, stage left for meself." Jack says.

Suddenly, a voice is heard over everyone's head, it is saying "Jack Sparrow."

**"**What was that?" Jack's eyes become wide.

**"**OH MY GOD ITS DAVY JONES!" Will yells.

**"**I TOLD YOU! YER GONNA BE THE DEATH OF US YOU EUNUCH!" Jack shouts to Will, ready to strangle him.

James calmly walks towards Davy,** "**Mr. Jones, what are you doing here?" he asks.

**"**Not that any one of us being here makes sense, but yer supposed to be dead or somethin'." Jack makes a face.

**"**Yes, and you're getting everything all wet with that bucket." Elizabeth motions to the floor.

**"**Aye! I don't even know who you are." Ana says.

**"**Nice to meet you." Davy says in an upbeat tone.

**"**Norrington, I killed you, why aren't you in the locker wasting away?" Davy asks him.

**"**Well, it just so happens I was saved." Norrington says happily.

**"**SAVED?"

**"**Yes, saved."

**"**Saved?"

**"**Yes, I said that."

**"**Davy Jones." Tia gets up from the couch.

**"**Calypso.." Davy repsonds.

**"**I thought her name was Tia?" Ana asks, because she has no idea what is going on.

"Long story." Jack whispers to Ana.

**"**Jack, you were the first one here, where are the bedrooms?" Elizabeth changes the subject.

**"**Why? Want to join me?" Jack asks with a smirk.

**"**You're repulsive." she fires back.

**"**C'mon Elizabeth, we will find them ourselves." Will says, grabbing Elizabeth's arm.

After things calmed down...somewhat...and after a few brawls over who had control of the remote, they headed to bed, but first checked out the confessional.

_"_I can't believe I'm stuck here with these whelps, Davy Jones even." Jack began, "he can't hear me in here right?" he says, as he looks around, "also, where in the bloody hell is the rum? I looked in the cabinets, the ice box, under the couch, and whatever that thing with the buttons is in the kitchen, and there is nothing! It has something to do with Elizabeth, has too. She is going to be the death of us, her and that eunuch boy. Who put this shindig together anyway? We aren't supposed to know each other. I was coming into this situation thinking there were going to be cutthroats and strumpets. Oh bloody whatever."

_"_Well, I really don't know what to say. I mean, I'm glad I get to be with Will again. I don't understand why he came here though. He kind of lied to me, and I lied to him too. HOW IS THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING TO WORK WHEN WE LIE TO EACH OTHER?" Elizabeth asks herself, "whatever, maybe it will all work itself out, it has too. Then there is Jack and its like, what are you doing here? I thought you were trying to find the youth fountain or whatever, you know? I'm worried that Davy Jones is after Will because of that stupid curse that none of us understand. Which reminds me, Tia Dalma, Calypso, whatever her stupid name is. What is she even doing here? Why doesn't she just go crawl back under a rock? Does she even know what she is talking about with anything? Then there is Anamaria, I barely even remember her. She like, wasn't even there when we did the heart stuff. Where did she even go? She abandoned everyone is what she did. I thought I was supposed to be the only girl, that is what they told me. Ugh, whatever. I'm so over it."

_"_Hm. Well, I really love Elizabeth. I mean I really do. Why did she come here though? " Will asks himself, "she was supposed to be waiting for me. I know I kinda came here instead of doing that duty thing or whatever it was, but that doesn't count, because I mean, I didn't even understand what I was supposed to do, and why would James come here? Maybe he set this up. Maybe he knew Elizabeth would be here. I hate that guy. At least Elizabeth is staying in my room."

"I get the feeling that no one cares about me here." says James, "I just need somewhere to sleep, someone of my rank should not be sleeping on the couch. What will people think? Elizabeth looks lovely, its a shame William is here. I hate that guy, I wish I could stab him in the heart with my sword. They won't let us have swords."

_"_Der is a destiny about dat James Norrington, I tink he is gonna be Captain of the Flying Dutchman_..." _Tia begins, before her mic gets cut off because no one knows what she is talking about.


	2. In The Bedroom

The crew headed to bed, and unknown to Ana, James was following her.

**"**Well, I guess we have to share a room." James mentions.

**"**Huh?" Ana questions.

**"**I said, I guess we have to share a room." James repeats.

**"**Why?" Ana asks.

**"**Because," James laughs, "I'm not going to sleep in Davy's room."

**"**Why not?"

**"**WELL BECAUSE! The man killed me!" James yells.

**"**Well that's no reason not to be his roommate."

**"**What?" James says, stopping in his tracks.

Ana walks into the room Jack is in, because she notices two beds.

**"**So, what side of the bed do you want?" Jack smirks.

**"**No. I'll be over on this one." Ana points.

Will and Elizabeth are in their room, getting ready for bed.

**"**How are we going to live with these people?" Will shakes his head.

**"**We will survive, we have in the past." Liz sighs.

**"**Jack is annoying, Tia is a creep, Davy is Davy, and then there is James..." Will stops.

**"**You don't have to worry about James, Will. I love you." Elizabeth smiles, and greeted with a smile from Will.

James finds Davy Jones, standing near the bathroom.

**"**Well Mr. Jones, looks like we are going to be roommates when we find a room here, I hope we can put our differences aside and.."

**"**Stop calling me Mr. Jones and you're not staying in my room. I'm not staying in any room."

**"**What? Then where am I supposed to sleep?"

**"**I don't know and I don't care."

**"**Where are YOU sleeping?"

**"**In the shower, where do ya think?" Jones says, before disapearing.

James walks into a room, thinking it's free, but Tia is there.

**"**Oh Tia, hello. Mr. Jones just told me he is sleeping in the shower."

**"**Mmmm." Tia says, under her breath.

**"**What do you think of that?" he asks.

**"**Mmmmhm." Tia says a bit louder.

**"**You see, I think I just figured out that the ratio of people to beds is not correct." James says.

**"**I see."

**"**Do you? I'm so glad, because I need somewhere to sleep."

**"**Sorry, but Calypso cannot help you"

**"**Calypso, I mean Tia, or Calypso, you see I have a reputation to hold. Sleeping on a couch just won't do."

**"**I see."

**"**Are you sure? Because I don't think you do." James says, starting to believe Tia is certifiably insane.

**"**Yer right. I don't. Please leave. I have things to do." Tia says, removing the covers that were previously on the bed.

**"**Things?" James asks, wondering what is so important.

**"**Yes, leave or you shall be cursed forever." Tia says, walking towards him.

**"**You know, I'm starting to think these things you talk about just aren't true because.."

**"**Goodbye Norrington."

**"**Oh, yes, I was just leaving." James picks up his luggage, and walks to the living room.

Will and Elizabeth lay in bed, starting at the ceiling.

**"**Elizabeth. I love you, I hope you know that." Will says, turning himself, to face Elizabeth.

**"**Yes, I know. You told me that fifteen times tonight already." Elizabeth rolls her eyes.

**"**I just don't understand why you seemed so happy to see James."

**"**Will. If you don't shut up about James I'm going to suffocate you with my pillow." Elizabeth threatens him.

**"**Geez, sorry Elizabeth. Goodnight."

Jack and Ana lay across the room from each other, both staring at the ceiling.

**"**Jack, I'm sorry I kinda ditched you and the crew, you know, before the fishy stuff happened." Ana apologizes.

**"**It's all good now. We didn't really need ya anyway. By the way, have you seen any rum around here?" Jack asks.

**"**Uh no. Just go to Tortuga Bar tomorrow. I'm sure there is rum there. I think we should all go out tomorrow night, you know, for our first night as roommates."

**"**Oh, uh, yeah...that sounds great.." Jack turns on his side, dreading the next day.

**"**Goodnight Jack."

**"**G'night."


	3. At The Bar

The next morning, Ana, Elizabeth, and Tia are sitting in the living room.

"So.." Elizabeth's eyes navigate around the room.

"Sooo.." Ana joins.

"Mmhhm" Tia sits cross-legged on the floor.

Ana and Elizabeth stare at Tia, then look back at each other.

"Well, what do you ladies want to do today?" she asks.

"I was thinking we would all go to Tortuga Bar tonight." Ana lights up.

"Well, that sounds interesting, but I don't know if its a good idea." Elizabeth says in her delicate English accent.

"Why not? This is our first day as roommates" Ana replies.

"That is just it. We all kind of..hate each other." Elizabeth explained.

"Mmmmm..."

"You hate me?" Ana asked, ignoring the odd noises coming from Tia.

"No! I didn't say that, its just. I don't like you." Elizabeth grinned.

"Oh, that is just great." Ana folded her arms.

"Great. I'm already making enemies. Tia, are you going to Tortuga Bar tonight?" Elizabeth asked.

"Mmmhm" Tia responded.

"I'll take that as a yes." Elizabeth nodded.

Elizabeth goes to leave the room, and runs into Will, who is walking around solemnly.

"Will, hi, listen. I kind of told Ana I don't like her. She asked me to go to the bar and I said it wasn't a good idea, but I want this to be a pleasant experience so I think I might go, to you know, get along. Tia said she is going..I think, so, do you want to go?"

"Of course Elizabeth! You don't think I'd let you go alone do you? Who knows who will be there." Will hugged her.

"Okay, good." Elizabeth's smile turned into a disgusted look, when the air was being sucked out of her, "Will! Get off of me!"

"Oh! I'm sorry Elizabeth!"

Later that day, Elizabeth and Ana were in the bathroom getting ready.

"I'm really glad you're not mad at me anymore. We are going to be together for awhile and I don't want any enemies, you know how that is." Elizabeth smirked.

"No, I don't know." Ana looked at her seriously.

They hear water running.

"Is someone in here?" Elizabeth asks, looking around.

"Yeah, I think someone is using the shower."

"Oh my God!" Elizabeth screams, and runs out of the bathroom.

"Who is taking a shower with us in there?" she asks.

"Oh, its just Davy Jones." Ana says nonchantely.

"DAVY JONES?"

"Yeah. I don't think he is takin' a shower, he just woke up from a nap or somethin'." Ana shrugged.

Elizabeth slowly walks back into the bathroom, "What the hell are you doing in there?"

"I be takin' a nap, is that okay with you Miss Swann?" Davy Jones says, with anger on his face.

"No it isn't, I don't care if you are Davy Jones. What are you doing sleeping in the shower?" Elizabeth crossed her arms.

"I need to be in water!" Davy yelled.

"I hope you don't think you are going to stay in there this whole time. Why would you even come here? How are we supposed to have an privacy with you in the shower all day long?" Elizabeth asked.

"I wouldn't make me angry Swann."

"You don't scare me fish face. Why aren't you dead anyway?"

"Calypso and I were both saved." he explained.

"I don't understand you two. You can't just die and come back all of the time, its so stupid."

"Have you ever died?" he asked her.

"Um, well, no I haven't." Elizabeth said, nervously.

"But you have murdered a few people haven't you?"

"NO! I didn't do it!" Elizabeth screamed, "Innoccent until proven guilty!" she added.

"Man, everyone is so uptight in this house and we haven't even been together a week yet." Ana chimed in.

Everyone except for Davy Jones heads out to the bar called Tortuga, a man named Harry stands at the entrance letting people in, Tia, Ana, James, Elizabeth are let in.

"Next." Harry says, in a monotone voice.

"Hello." Will smiles.

"WAIT! Wait a minute there! He can't go in there." Jack insists.

"What?" says both Harry and Will.

"Yes I can go in." Will smiles, again.

"No you see, he is a eunuch. He can't go in. Also, he isn't old enough. He is only 17." Jack explains.

"Oh really?" Harry looks at Will.

"Yes, really. Sorry, mate, laws and all that..." Jack gives a smile to Will.

"Sorry young man."

"WHAT? I'm not 17! I need to go in there! Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" Will yells.

"Do you have an I.D. of some type?" Harry asks.

"Well, no..but I'm old enough!"

"Sorry, but if we have reason to believe you are underage we can't let you in."

"What idiots! I don't even look 17." Will said, disgusted.

Will goes walking around outside the bar.

"Where is Will?" Elizabeth asks Jack.

"He said he was feeling ill, I think it was just a headache, he went back to lay down. Maybe have a chat with Jones." he replied.

"Huh? I better go back to the house."

"He told me to tell ya to have a good time."

"Oh, if that is the case, I guess I'll stay." Elizabeth shrugged.

Ana already had a few too many, and kept insisting on getting on a table.

"Well, my Lord, that girl can't hold liquor." Elizabeth said, shaking her head.

"I wouldn't talk." Jack nudged her.

"Oh, like you would know."

"I would know, remember that little island we were marooned on?" Jack asked.

"Ugh, you are such an idiot. I wasn't even drunk you moron." Elizabeth sighed.

"What? You weren't drunk?" Jack asked, in a high pitched voice.

"No you loser. I tricked you."

"Tricked me? So you killed me AND tricked me. Oh and burned the damn rum!"

"Yes, I did." she replied.

"Well, then. I guess I wasn't wrong calling you a pirate." Jack said.

"No, I guess you weren't." Elizabeth quipted.

As Jack walks away to get some more rum, James walks over to Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth. Where is William?"

"He is sick or something." Elizabeth said, taking a sip of her water.

"Really? That's strange. Why aren't you drinking?"

"I had enough rum for one lifetime." she explains.

"Yes, I know what you mean. However, since we are going to be living with these people, I'm making it a point to be drunk every night. Maybe I will forget this experience ever happened to me."

"Maybe you're right." Elizabeth says, and follows James to the bar to get a drink.

"Hello ladies." Jack puts his arm around two women.

"Hello" they reply, with some laughter.

"What are you two doin' here? Following me eh?"

"Well no, we go anywhere named Tortuga." Giselle answers.

"Of course you do!" Jack exclaims.

"You are probably surprised we didn't slap you, hm?" Scarlett asks.

"Now that you mention it.." Jack says.

"SLAP!"

"That is from the both of us!" Scarlett yells.

On another side of the bar, Will peers through a window, "What is going on in there? where is Elizabeth? I need to find a way in..." he thinks.

"Sir, young man! What are you doing there?" Harry spots him.

"Nothing, I wasn't doing anything. Just looking in the window. I can't do that either?" Will rolls his eyes.

"No you cannot. Please get off the premises." Harry points away from the building.

"Fine."

Will walks behind the building, not to be seen by Harry. He sees a ladder and climbs onto the roof. Inside the bar, Elizabeth and James are slow dancing.

"You're a good dancer." Elizabeth says after hiccuping.

"You are as well, Elizabeth."

"James, I think I'm drunk." Elizabeth admits.

"Yes, me too."

"I can't believe you're still alive."

"I know."

"You know, everyone I kiss dies. It's really terrible." Elizabeth frowns.

"Yes, you have that way about you."

"Do I? I killed Jack on purpose though." Elizabeth looks at James.

"Did you?"

"Yes I did." Elizabeth stumbles slightly, "I kissed him and he died, but if you kissed me right now, I promise I won't kill you. I'm too drunk."

"Are you sure? What about William?"

"He isn't here right now, and as I said, I'm drunk. That is a good excuse right?"

James leans in to kiss Elizabeth. In the middle of the kiss, Will falls through the roof. The roof, along with Will, land on James, and almost on Elizabeth.

"Will!" Elizabeth covers her mouth.

"Elizabeth!" Will yells from some rubble.

James, who is all dusty, gets up from between all of the peieces of wood laying on the floor.

"Elizabeth! I'm okay! You were right I didn't die! Almost, but I didn't." James says; arms opened wide.

"What is he talking about? Elizabeth, are you okay?" Wil asks.

"She was right, I didn't die! See, everyone she kisses dies.." James trips over a piece of wood drunkenly.

Elizabeth lets out a laugh, "James shut up. Will, I'm fine, everything is good." she smiles awkwardly.

"What is going on here? Did something happen between you two?" Will motions with a finger.

"No!" they yell.

"I'm pretty sure I saw them makin' out!" Ana laughs drunkenly.

"I knew it!" Will yells.

"Ana! You are such a wench!" Elizabeth screams, as everyone watches the meltdown.

"I'm not the one makin' out with James when I have a husband!"

"How dare you bring up the fact that we are married!"

"But we are married! Remember?" Will falls on the floor.

"Oh shut up Will! What do you know? Half of the people that we live with should be dead! I hardly think marriage has anything to do with anything!" says Elizabeth.

"My hands are clean of this mess." Jack holds up his hands, and sneaks out through the hole in the roof.

"He would run away.." Will shakes his head.

"Everyone out! Now!" Harry, the owner yells, and waves out people.

Everyone slowly drunkenly walks back to the house

"Well, that was the worst night ever." James looks at the ground.

"I don't know what you're talkin' about. I had a great time!" Ana says, in between hiccups.

"That is because you were to busy dancing on tables." Elizabeth walks, with her hair in shambles.

"And might I add, she showed a lot of skill as well.." Jack joins them.

When they get back to the house, Will looks at James and Elizabeth sprawled out on the couch.

"What do you two have to say for yourselves? Elizabeth, I forgive you for whatever happened tonight. We will talk about it tomorrow, lets go to bed."

"You're right Will." Elizabeth replies, "I'm very sleepy." she laughs.

"Wait. Where is Calypso?" Will looks at everyone, and everyone looks at eachother.

"She must still be at the bar." James suggests.

Tia Dalma sits on top of the piano at Tortuga Bar singing "As Time Goes By".


	4. The Situation

The next morning_, _Elizabeth, who is feeling a little under the weather, is in the living room when Will walks in.

**"**Oh, hi Will." Elizabeth rubs her face.

**"**Listen, I'm not mad about last night." Will mentions.

**"**Thanks." Elizabeth put her head on Will's shoulder.

**"**I mean, you drank too much. Its not like you have feelings for Norrington or anything."

**"**Yes," Elizabeth coughs, "yes of course."

"Do you feel any better?" she asks, changing the subject.

**"**Huh?" Will is confused.

**"**Jack told me you didn't feel well last night, so you were going to stay home."

**"**I felt fine. I tried to get in, but Jack told the guy at the door that I was too young." Will explained.

**"**Too young? What! This is all Jack's fault?"

**"**Pretty much, yes." Will nodded.

* * *

Jack is sitting outside on the beach, watching the waves.

**"**Jack, we have to talk." Elizabeth says, walking through the sand.

**"**What is it, Lizzy?" Jack asks.

**"**I just wanted to say thanks." Elizabeth smiled, and sat down next to Jack.

**"**What did I do?" Jack wonders what she could possibly be thanking him for.

**"**For keeping Will out of the bar."

**"**Oh, that. Uh, yer welcome." Jack takes a swig of his rum.

**"**I love Will, but he can be boring sometimes you know?"

**"**Yes." Jack nods in agreement.

**"**You know, James isn't bad. I think I might have feelings for him."

**"**Lizzy, you have feelings for everyone." Jack looks at her.

**"**What? That isn't even true." Elizabeth spats.

**"**Sure it is, there is Will, James, Me. Then there is the monkey and Davy Jones." Jack waves his hand.

**"**You don't count and neither does the monkey or Davy Jones."

"I'm pretty sure I do count. And you know, that isn't want Jones told me."

**"**No you don't. What did he tell you?"

**"**Oh, just that you were in the bathroom with him."

**"**What? I was not in the bathroom with him. Okay, wait I was, but.." Elizabeth hesitated.

"No need to explain Lizzy, I know how it goes."

**"**No, you have the wrong idea. The man sleeps in the shower!"

**"**I never heard of such a thing. Lizzy, it's okay, we all make mistakes." Jack patted her on the shoulder.

**"**You don't understand! There was no mistake to be made! Nothing ever happened. Ana will tell you!"

**"**She already did." Jack said.

**"**That girl hates me! She probably lied to you!" Elizabeth got up, and started waving her arms around.

**"**She said you were in the bathroom, which you just confirmed. Good day, Lizzy." Jack got up, smiled, and started running awkwardly away.

**"**Oh my God! I hate you people!" Elizabeth screamed, while standing alone on the sand.

* * *

Later on, Elizabeth sits at the kitchen table**, **holding up her head with her arm.**  
**

**"**Oooh, I can sense someone must be troubled." Tia sits down near Elizabeth.

**"**Please, Calypso, Tia, what do you want to be called anyway?"

**"**What is troubling you Elizabeth?" Tia asks again.

**"**Well its just that Jack thinks I was in the bathroom with Davy Jones. I mean, you know what I mean. Nothing happened of course, but Jack doesn't believe me and what if Will finds out?"

**"**You were in the bathroom with me Davy?" Tia's eyes widened to a scary proportion.

**"**Yes, but no. You see, it wasn't like that, it was all a misunderstanding." Elizabeth started to move around, anxiously.

**"**Misunderstanding?" Tia questioned, getting up from the table.

**"**Yes! A misunderstanding, you have to believe me." Elizabeth tried to explain, but there was an unusual silence, and suddenly Tia, er, Calypso, was gone.

"Where did that woman go?"

* * *

James and Anna were surfing the internet_, _they were pretty bored._  
_

**"**Ana, there you are, I have to talk to you. What are you two doing?" Elizabeth was curious.

"Looking up swords." they replied.

**"**There is this one with drawings of cats on it." Ana snickered.

**"**Um, okay. Anyway, I have to talk to Anamaria alone, is that okay James?"

**"**Oh, sure. I'll be in the kitchen." James walked out.

**"**Ana, what the hell are you trying to do?" Elizabeth pushed her.

**"**What are you talking about?"

**"**I'm married, remember? Everyone keeps calling me Swann! I'm Elizabeth Turner! I am married! Everyone needs to stop trying to ruin us!"

**"**I have no idea what you are talking about." Ana shook her head.

**"**You are telling people that I was in the bathroom with Jones."

**"**Well, we were in the bathroom with Jones." Ana said.

"Exactly! We both were. Jones told Jack that I was in the bathroom with him, which I was. Jack said you told him I was indeed in the bathroom with him. However, you forget to mention you were there too!" Elizabeth pushed her again.

**"**I left and you and 'im were in there. How do I know what happened?"

**"**Why would anything happen between him and I? He is Davy Jones." Elizabeth looked confused.

**"**Well, I wasn't going to bring it up but...you kind of have a reputation." Ana looked away.

**"**Excuse me?" Elizabeth put her hands on her hips.

**"**Listen, I think you need to talk to Davy about it, not me."

**"**Talk to Davy? But I don't want to talk to Davy."

Ana pulled Elizabeth to the bathroom.

**"J**ust do it!" Ana yelled.

**"**Um..hello?" Elizabeth entered, cautiously.

**"**What do you want?" came a voice.

**"**Oh." Elizabeth gave a frightened laugh, "Hi Davy.."

**"**What do you want?"

"Well, there is kind of..a rumor..going around, sort of a situation. I kind of think you may have started it." Elizabeth continued to act cautiously.

**"**Get to it." Davy snapped his claw.

**"**Well, the whole bathroom thing, you know?"

"I'm not leaving the shower."

**"**No, it isn't that. Its that you told Jack that we were in the bathroom together, and he has the wrong idea and now everyone.."

**"**You were in here!" Davy interrupted.

**"**Yes! I know, I know..but everyone has the wrong idea. I thought maybe you could come out of the shower, just for a minute, have a group meeting and let everyone know what really happened before Will hears something." Elizabeth suggested.

**"**I cannot do that. I will not leave the shower!"

**"**Please?" Elizabeth begged.

**"**You do realize we are once again alone in the bathroom."

**"**Oh my God!" Elizabeth ran out.

Outside of the bathroom is Mr. Turner.

**"**Elizabeth, what are you doing?" Will asks.

**"**Willam! Hello, nice to see you. Nothing, I'm not doing anything."

**"**Oh, good. You see I thought I heard you talking to Davy Jones about something.."

**"**Oh! Really? Yes, we talk about things sometimes. He won't come out of the shower, so I have to visit him in there. We talk about things, yes." Elizabeth said, nervously.

**"**What kind of things?" Will wondered.

**"**The weather, the water, things like that, you know..normal things."

**"**Oh, so I guess the rumors aren't true then."

**"**Rumors? I don't know anything about any rumors. Davy and I are good mates, we have lots of stories to share!_" _Elizabeth laughs.

**"**Hm, I suppose so. I thought it seemed strange. Well, do you want to go for a walk on the beach?"

**"**Yes! Of course. That sounds wonderful."

* * *

Ana, James and Jack sit in the living room.

**"**I knew Elizabeth got around, but Davy Jones?" James looked sick.

**"**I know, mate. You would think she would draw the line somewhere." Jack put his legs up.

**"**Yeah, really, what a harlot." Ana sat back.

**"**Ana, how would you like to go out with me tonight?" James asked.

Jack looked at Ana, waiting for her to answer.

"Um, with you? Sure, where do ya wanna go?"

**"**Well, maybe we can go to Tortuga for a bit, then have fun around town." James did an awkward dance.

**"**Okay, sure. I'm gonna go rest for awhile." Ana said.

**"**Great." James smiled.

"What are you doin' mate?" Jack leaned in to talk to James.

**"**It looks like I'm going out with Anamaria tonight."

**"**You can't be doin' that."

**"**I certainly can do that. Elizabeth is too busy being with her husband and Davy Jones apparently. I can have fun too."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Norrington, but don't say I didn't warn ya."_  
_

* * *

Later that night, Ana and James were at the bar together._  
_

**"**You know, I made it a point to be drunk every night while I'm here." James laughed.

**"**That is funny, me too._"  
_

**"**Really? Probably not for the same reason." James took a sip of his drink.

**"**What is the reason for you?_" _Ana was plastered._  
_

**"**I just can't stand to see Will and Elizabeth together everyday. Also, I can't stand everyone else."

**"**Oh really?" Ana looked angry.

**"**Oh no, I don't mean you. I mean, I barely know you."

**"**Hey, let's get out of here. Let's just go back to the house." Ana insisted.

* * *

Ana and James return home, to everyone asleep._  
_

**"**I wonder if there is any alcohol here." Ana started looking around.

**"**Found some, Jack must of picked up rum from somewhere." James said.

**"**Great!"

After a few drinks, Ana and James weren't feeling much of anything._  
_

**"**Hey, where is your bedroom?" Ana asked.

**"**Oh, uh, well we are sitting in my bedroom." James laughed.

**"**Yer bedroom is the the couch!"

They both started laughing loudly.

**"**Well, I guess this is where I'm sleepin'." Ana smiled.


	5. House Meeting

Elizabeth and Jack were walking into the living room the following morning.

**"**Why do we have a pet monkey? It woke me up again this morning." Elizabeth asked.

**"**I don't know, I wish I had me gun so I could shoot.." Jack was interrupted by something unsettling.

**"**AHHHHHHH!" Elizabeth screamed.

Ana and James woke up, startled._  
_

**"**AHHHHHHHH! What happened?" Ana yelled, while pulling up the covers.

**"**What is going on? AH! Elizabeth!"

**"**OH MY GOODNESS! You two aren't wearing clothes!" Elizabeth noticed.

**"**Believe it or not, I didn't wanna see that." Jack says.

Elizabeth ran outside crying._  
_

**"**What is her problem?" Ana asks, looking at James.

**"**This is terrible. I wish I had a room." All he could do was shake his head.

**"**Well, you could sleep in Elizabeth's room, since Elizabeth and Will share a bed or Tia's room, since whatshisface apparently sleeps in the shower.." Jack said.

**"**No and No."

**"**Aight then, have it yer way." Jack goes into the kitchen to look for some rum._  
_

Will walked in,** "**What is going on in here? Put some clothes on! This isn't some kinda brothel!"

**"**We were just about to."

**"**Okay! EVERYONE, STOP!" Jack yells. Everyone looks at Jack._  
_

**"**Where in the bloody hell is me rum?" he asks.

**"**Why are you two lookin' at each other like that?" Jack asks Ana, and James, "What does that mean?"

**"**I think it means they drank your rum." Will chimes in.

**"**WHAT? You two drank me rum?"

Jack ran over to James and started to strangle him.

**"**STOP THAT! You're going to hurt someone." Will tried to break them up.

**"**I want me bloody rum!"

Ana slapped Jack in the face, and James is able to move away.

**"**What the hell Jack!" James stands up. Jack ran outside.

**"**We need to have a house meeting tonight, this is getting out of control. Since I'm the only rational one, I'll get everyone together." Will stated.

**"**Well till then, I'm going upstairs on the balcony and contemplate whether or not to jump off of it." James said.

**"**Well do whatever you have to do, just be back by seven." Will stood in the middle of the living room.

**"**I'm going in me room." Ana said, sadly.

**"**Good, I controlled a situation_." _Will smiles._  
_

* * *

**"**What an excitin' day eh? And it's only noon." Jack says to Elizabeth, who is sitting on the beach.

**"**If that is what you want to call it."

**"**Why did ya run outside cryin' like a baby?"

**"**Well excuse me for being shocked." Elizabeth says, as she puts her hand to her chest.

**"**Aye, I was a bit shocked meself to tell ya the truth. Not to mention, I choked James."

**"**You what? Why in the world would you do that?"

**"**They drank me rum, I suspect that is why this situation came about."

**"**Do you enjoy causing trouble? Or is that just your life?" Elizabeth asked, honestly.

**"**I didn't cause this, if that's what yer tryin' to say." Jack through some sand on Elizabeth.

**"**Well you brought the rum." Elizabeth spit some sand out of her mouth.

**"**That was supposed to be MY rum!"

**"**Well, whatever. Does Will know that I cried?"

**"**No, want me to tell him?" Jack looked at Elizabeth.

**"**No!"

**"**If you want me advice, Lizzy. I would stop runnin' around actin' like a wench if you don't want Will to hate ya."

**"**How dare you call me a wench!" Elizabeth said, standing up.

**"**Listen Lizabeth, I would know a wench when I see one, and yer one."

**"**I don't need to be here and listen to this nonsense."

Jack and Elizabeth see William walking down the beach.

**"**There you two are, we are having a house meeting at seven." Will filled them in.

**"**Sorry, mate, I'm busy tonight." Jack said.

**"**It isn't optional."

**"**What could you possibly be doing tonight anyway? Oh never mind, are you getting drunk with your wenches?_"_ Elizabeth laughed._  
_

**"**How did you know? You should join us." Jack winked.

**"**I was kidding, and no thank you."

"It doesn't matter because this isn't optional, Jack."

**"**We will see about that William." Jack said, leaving the two there.

**"**What is with the meeting?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**I think its time we all sit down and talk, because all of these things can't keep going on."

**"**Well good luck with that, Davy won't come out of the shower." Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

* * *

Will decided enough was enough, and with his newly discovered chutzpah, he was going to talk with Davy Jones._  
_

He clears his throat,** "**Mr. Davy Jones, I would like to have a word with you."

**"**What is it?" Davy answered.

**"**We are having a group meeting tonight at seven, I'm afraid it isn't optional."

**"**I'll be there."

**"**Really, you will? Good, I'm glad. Thank you."

Will smiled, that wasn't hard at all, he thought.

* * *

Later that evening there is a knock at the door_.  
_

**"**Hello ladies! Good to see you again!"

**"**Hello Jack." Scarlett and Giselle greeted.

"Why are you living here? Where is your ship?

"Long story. This is me house for the time being. Oh, and it is possible you might see a eunuch walking around and some other people. Don't pay any attention to them. Let's go to the hot tub." Jack led them through the house.

Giselle and Scarlett look at each other confused, but followed.

* * *

Later, at exactly seven, Will, Elizabeth, Ana and James were sitting in the living room_  
_

**"**Well, most of us are here. Where is everyone else?" Will look around.

Everyone looked at each other.

**"**I dunno, I was in me room all day." Ana replies.

**"**I think Jack is with the strumpets. JACK! IT'S SEVEN, GET IN HERE!" Elizabeth said.

Jack and the strumpets were in the hot tub.

**"**Ladies, I will be right back. I have somewhere to be.."

**"**You better come back!" they said.

**"**Oh, of course, right back!"

"Jack, how nice of you to join us. Okay, let's just get started. So, a lot of things have been happening and I think.." Will began, when Jones appeared randomly.

**"**Does he always creep up on people like that?" Ana asked.

Jack nodded.

Elizabeth whispered to Will, "How did you get Davy to come here?"

_**"**_I just asked him_"_ He responded.

**"**Oooh! How stupid of me." Elizabeth rolled her eyes. At the same time, Jack the monkey jumps on Elizabeth, and steals her chips._  
_

**"**Okay_, _so I asked us all to be here because obviously we are being made to live together for awhile. However, I think everyone would agree that things aren't turning out too well. I think we should start acting like rational pirates."

**"**Uh, William." Jack interrupted, "That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard."

**"**Why?"

**"**Because we are pirates!" Jack looked around at everyone.

**"**I'm not a pirate." Will stated.

**"**I'm not either." said James.

**"**THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Jack asked them.

**"**Haven't we all been over this?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**No one ever answers the bloody question!" Jack became frustrated.

**"**FINE! I'll answer the question! I.. I'm tired of having all of these responsibilities." James begins to tear up, "After I was saved, I went too Beckett and he gave me a job again and he is always pushing me around. If it's not one thing its another."

**"**That's a shame, James." Elizabeth put her arm around James.

"I know, I realized that my dream is be a pirate; no responsibilities." James said.

**"**Wow, that is strange, you know? I felt the same way before any of us met. I felt so sheltered. It's like we are two souls that are meant to be together." Elizabeth explained to him.

**"**Yes, I feel the same way."

**"**Oh my God, shut up you two! That is such a bunch of bull." Will said.

**"**It is not, I meant what I said. Why don't you tell us why you came here then?"

**"**Hey, can we just get on with this?" Ana sat back.

**"**I came here because..well, because I sucked at doing my duty."

**"**WHAT? Will, what kind of loser are you?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**I'm not a loser! I just figured I would take a break here for awhile."

James started laughing uncontrolably, "You sucked at doing your duty? You ARE a loser!"

"I could have told ya that would happen, mate. If yer not doin' it, who is?" Jack asked.

**"**You're the one that made me stab the heart, Jack! I talked my dad into doing it, and I guess since we are related it all worked itself out."

**"**I did it for good reason!" Jack exclaimed.

**"**What? That makes no sense. Why would you come here instead of coming to see me?" Elizabeth asked, curiously.

**"**I just needed a break! Okay?"

**"**Guys, aren't we missin' someone?" Ana tried to talk over everyone.

**"**No, it isn't okay, Will! And leave Jack alone, he saved you." Elizabeth said.

**"**Elizabeth, why are you sticking up for every other guy in the house but you're own husband?" Will asked.

**"**And what is up with you and Davy?" James wanted to know.

**"**Will, we will talk about all of this later and James that isn't even true!"

**"**GUYS! We are missin' someone!" Ana yelled.

**"**What? That can't be, who is.." Will tried to remember who was missing.

**"**She is right, someone is missing." Elizabeth agreed.

Everyone at the same time shouted "Tia!"

**"**Everyone, we have to find Tia. Davy, where would Tia be?" Will was concerned.

**"**Don't bother me!" Davy snapped his weird slaw hand. 

"Um, okay. Let's search the house."

* * *

Instead of searching for Tia, some of the roommates sneak into the confessional. Will walked into the small room_, _when the coast was clear._  
_

Okay, I know I'm supposed to be looking for Tia right now, but WHAT just happened? I mean, I tried to get everyone together to discuss what is going on and what happens? Elizabeth says that James is her soul mate or something. What? I don't think so. If I remember correctly, it was her and I that got married in the middle of a battle. Who else would do that? WE are the soul mates. James is the one that was a bad guy but turned good guy and turned back to bad guy and then back to good guy again, not me. I stayed the same throughout ALL of our experiences, what is SO wrong with that? It's not like both of their last names are birds or something. They aren't soul mates. Elizabeth and I need to have a chat. That is just what it comes down too.

Elizabeth looked around, and no one is looking. She went into the confessional._  
_

I know, I should be looking for Tia. She is probably just playing with tarot cards or something, anyway. So, about James. Wow. I had no idea he had those feelings! I mean, I can totally relate to that. I'm starting to think I really made a mistake marrying Will. He came here because he sucked at doing his duty? What kind of stupidity is that. How hard is it to ferry souls? That freakin' monkey could do it. He expected me to sit around waiting for him for ten years with his stupid heart? Pffft, yeah okay Will, I'm on it. I'll just be waiting on an island with your heart, while you're partying it up here. Thanks a lot.

Ana went into the confessional, not caring who noticed._  
_

Honestly, I don't even care about Calypso. She freaks me out, she is like, one of those people you see on a side show, like a side show freak, ya know? When I was in me room today, stayin' away from James and everyone, I was thinkin' that I might have to get a job while I'm here. I really need the money, since we can't attack ships or anything. Hmm, this sucks. I guess I better go look for that lady before there is another house meetin'.


	6. The Search

"Will, there you are. Listen, I've looked everywhere and I can't find her." Elizabeth said, out of breath.

"Me either, I don't think she in the house."

James and Ana ran into Will and Elizabeth.

"We can't find her anywhere." James said.

"We don't think she is in the house." Will replied.

"Okay, well, where is Jack? And Davy?" Elizabeth asked.

"No." Davy said, appearing.

"We are going to have to look outside." Will stated.

"Well have a good time doin' that then." Jack waved them off.

"Where do you think you're going? You have to help." Elizabeth said, pulling on Jack's sleeve.

"I don't think so. I didn't come here too look fer missin' people and organize search parties and all that." Jack said.

"Jack, we have to look for her. It's our responsibility." Will said.

"Don't let Norry hear ya say that. Anyway, I'm busy." Jack chuckled, and James rolled his eyes.

"Jack, you are going to help. She is probably right outside." Elizabeth said, looking at him.

"Fine. I will look outside an' if she ain't there, it ain't gonna be my problem."

"Davy, you need too..where did he go now?" they all looked around.

"Ugh." Will said, under his breath.

"Nope, not there." Jack said, coming back inside.

"Okay, let's just get into groups and look for her out there." Will headed outside.

"Not doin' it. I have some..guests.." Jack said, walking the opposite way.

"Jack you have too, I'll let you go with Elizabeth." Will said.

"Hmf. Fine." Jack said, changing his mind.

"WHAT? No." Elizabeth resisted.

"Elizabeth, I'm not going to let my good guy, hero reputation go down the toilet because of this. We will find her."

Jack grabbed Elizabeth's arm, and pulled her outside.

"I'm going with Ana and James you go with Davy." Will commanded.

"Where in the blazes is Davy? Davy isn't even here." James brought it to Will's attention.

"Then go by yourself."

"I don't want to go by myself." James said.

Will and Ana rushed outside, leaving James by himself._  
_

"Thanks.."

Out on the beach, Elizabeth and Jack were searching._  
_

"Stop pulling my arm. I thought you looked out here already."

"I did, but you don't think I covered the whole beach in two minutes do ya? There is a whole island to cover." Jack motioned with his hands.

"Oh."

"You don't pay attention to anythin' do you?" Jack asked.

Will and Ana entered town.

"Where do ya think she is?" Ana asked.

"I have no idea. I just hope it doesn't take long." Will commented.

"Why? Worried about Jack and Elizabeth?"

"No, why would I be worried about Elizabeth running around the island with a drunken pirate?" Will rolled his eyes.

"Yer runnin' around with a pirate." Ana said.

"It's not the same. Where could she be? Everything is closed."

"Except Tortuga." Ana said.

"You really think we should go there?"

"Aye, why not? It's probably full of people now, so we can probably sneak in with everyone else." Ana suggested.

"Maybe you're right, it's worth a shot.

When they get to Tortuga Bar, there are people everywhere._  
_

"See, look at all of the people, just get in the middle of everyone and they won't even notice." Ana whispered.

Elizabeth and Jack were still searching around the island.

"I wonder what Will and Ana are doing, maybe they found Tia." Elizabeth said.

"Doubt it. After all, we are talkin' bout William."

"Oh, please, why do you hate Will so much?" Elizabeth was getting annoyed.

"Lizabeth, I ain't gonna spend this time talkin' bout William, so shut it."

"I know he is kind of a loser and maybe a little boring, and can't even do a simple duty like ferrying souls, but give him a break. I do love the man." Elizabeth stopped.

"Lizzy, seriously, you need to shut it or I'm going to shut it for you."

"Well, I see you haven't learned any manners since I saw you last." Elizabeth jeered.

"Manners, shmanners. Shut up already." Jack mumbled.

Will and Ana were able to enter Tortuga.

"Wow, I can't believe it worked." Will was surprised.

"Told ya, now just look for Tia or whatever her name is.

After about twenty minutes of looking, Will went back to get Ana.

"Ana! Hey, there you are. I don't see her anywhere. Are you drinking?"

"I didn't see her either, aye, that I am." Ana downed a bottle of rum.

"What are you doing drinking? We have to go.." Will was pulled over by Ana.

"Will, meet my friends Sam and Emma." Ana introduced them.

"Who are these people? Ana and I have to be going." Will scowled.

"I met 'em last time we was here, you know, when all that crap happened." Ana was tipsy.

"That is very nice, hi. Put the drink down, we have to go."

"Relax, let's hang out for a minute. Tia is probably back at the house already."

"You know, I really doubt that. Let's go." Will kept trying to get Ana to leave the bar.

"Here have a drink." Ana shoved a cup in front of Will's face.

"What? No, who's drink is that?"

"I dunno, just drink it." Ana smiled.

Elizabeth and Jack were still walking, with no luck at finding Tia.

"Jack, we walked like, ten miles. Can we take a break?" Elizabeth asked.

"Wasn't anywhere near ten miles, but sure." Jack said.

They flopped down on the ground._  
_

"I really need ta get back to the house." Jack muttered.

"Why? Oh, right. Your wenches are there. They probably left by now." Elizabeth said.

"Probably, I dunno how I get meself in these situations." Jack said, calmly.

"Well, you are a good man. You probably want to do the good deed of finding Tia yourself, because you know that is the right thing to do."

"Not really, love." Jack looked at her.

"Well, I tried."

At the bar, Will was getting tired of Ana's shenanigans.

"Listen, Ana, I had three drinks and I'm tipsy, it's time to go." Will said.

Ana laughed, "That is funny."

"What is so funny about it?"

"Because..._", _she laughs,_ "_I had about nine."

"Ana, you didn't."

* * *

James was walking in the woods alone.

_I can't believe they made me go alone. There is nothing out here but wild animals and probably deadly insects. _He thought to himself._  
_

* * *

"C'mon, love. Let's keep going, I don't have all night." Jack started walking again.

"Do you think she is on the beach? Maybe we should look somewhere else."

"We better stay on the beach."

"I'm just going to go look over there quick." Elizabeth pointed.

"I wouldn't do that, love."

"Oh, shut up you stupid pirate. What is wrong with...AHHHH!" Elizabeth fell into something. Jack ran over, and looked into a hole in the ground. Elizabeth was at the bottom of it.

"Told ya not to be walkin' over here."

"What is this? Get me out of here!" she yelled up to Jack.

"It probably used to be a place to store rum." Jack thought. He started gathering things to make a rope._  
_

"Grab on too this." Jack through a rope down.

"What in the hell have you been eatin' since ya got here?" Jack thought she was unusually heavy.

"Shut up Jack! Just get me out of here!"

"I can't get ya out, yer too heavy. I have to fix it."

"Stop making jokes and get me out of here." Elizabeth insisted_,_ and started pulling on the rope._  
_

"Don't do that yet."

Without listening, Elizabeth kept pulling on the rope._  
_

"I wasn't..AHH!" Jack yelled all the way down to the bottom of the ditch.

"Very nice, Jack."

"You were pullin' the rope when I told ya bloody well not too!"

"Great, now what?" Elizabeth asked him.

Jack opened up a bottle of rum._  
_

"Drink? Is that your answer to everything? Drinking rum. Great, I'm glad, now I'm going to die in here."

Will's head was laying on the bar table.

"Ana, we had way to much to drink, let's just go back to the house, we are useless now."

"You can go back, I'm not leaving till this places closes." Ana began dancing.

"I can't just leave you here, you might not make it back."

"Then stay!" Ana grabbed onto Will.

"Please don't do that, people might see us and get the wrong idea. I'm drunk, but not that drunk."

"Then drink some more!" Ana laughs uncontrollably. _  
_

In the ditch, Jack offers Elizabeth a bottle of rum.

"Uh, no thank you." Elizabeth refuses.

"I would drink it, it's gonna be a long night." Jack smirked.

"What are you trying to say? There is no possible way to get us out of here?"

"See, yer not always stupid." Jack joked.

"Thank you, but I'm not daft."

"Daft? Oh, whatever. Are you sure you don't want some? There are only 3 more bottles left and I'm liable to drink all of em by mornin'."

"Ugh, I might as well." Elizabeth accepted a bottle of rum, and began drinking.

At the bar, Harry notices Ana and Will from the other night.

He begins yelling, "HEY! You two, what are ya doin' in here? I told ya's not to come back here after you put a hole in the roof. The bar is closing anyway, get out."

"We were just leaving.."

"You have to fix that hole too!" Harry added.

They both stumble out of the bar._  
_

"What do ya wanna do now?_" _Ana asked.

"I want to go home." Will answered.

"Oh, c'mon, that was fun!" Ana stumbles, and falls on the ground. 

"I guess it was kind of fun, but we never found Tia, and who knows where Elizabeth is, she might be wondering where we are." Will said.

"Sure it was! Who cares, you gonna let her control yer life? Elizabeth, Elizabeth, that is all everyone talks about."

"You're right. It must suck being you, huh?"

"Well, sometimes. I drink to get by, ya know how it is." Ana shrugged.

"No, I don't actually. Are we going to have to stage an intervention for you at some point?"

"No.." Ana stops talking, and pounces on Will, and kisses him.

* * *

James eventually gets back to the house.

_Where is everyone? Hello! Anyone here? I can't believe this._

* * *

Jack and Elizabeth were still stuck in the hole. They were making out._  
_

"You know..Jack..I'm not even drunk." Elizabeth said.

"Me either. Surprise, Surprise."

"But, really we should stop." Elizabeth moved away.

"Why?"

"Uh, because I'm married?" Elizabeth laughed.

"Has it stopped you before?"

"Good point." Elizabeth replied.


	7. Calypso

The following morning, Jack the monkey woke up James on the couch._  
_

**"**Ugh, you damn monkey! Ow."

James, who is in pain, makes his way to Tia's room._  
_

**"**Hello?"

James took a look in Tia's room._  
_

_Where is everyone? _he wondered._  
_

* * *

Will woke up next to Ana behind the bar.

Will yawned,_ "_uh oh, not good. Anamaria! Wake up!"

**"**What is it?" Ana asked, looking around.

**"**It's morning, get yourself together, we have to get back."

**"**What in the hell happened last night? Did we..did you?"

**"**No! I was drunk and I was just trying to talk to you and you threw yourself at me and.." Will tried to explain.

**"**Okay, okay I get it, I'm sorry. Let's not tell anyone about this."

**"**Yes, thank you."

Will and Ana walked back to the house.

James walked around the house, trying to find someone._  
_

**"**Hello! Anyone..ah! Who are you?" James was startled.

**"**I'm Scarlett."

**"**I'm Giselle. Who might you be?"

They both get closer to James._  
_

**"**I'm James Norrington. What may I ask, are you doing here?"

**"**We were waiting for Captain Jack Sparrow to get back, but it doesn't look like he is coming back." they replied.

**"**Just like him too.." Giselle began.

**"**So he isn't here? Well, where is everyone then?"

**"**I don't know, who is everyone?" Giselle asked.

**"**My roommates, they aren't here and I don't know what happened. They should be back by now. Where were you two?"

**"**We were in the hot tub all night."

**"**Oh, you didn't happen to see a rather odd looking woman running around, her name is Tia Dalma, sometimes Calypso?"

They both answered,** "**No."

**"**We better be going, tell Jack Sparrow we would like to have a word with him." Giselle looked at James, threateningly.

**"**Sure, bye."

**"**Oh..and if you are ever lonely or anything, don't be afraid to come find us._"_ Giselle winked._  
_

**"**Whatever, goodbye." James said, pushing them out the door.

Elizabeth and Jack woke up next to each other.

"Lizabeth, wake up, it's mornin'." Jack said.

**"**Hmmm, what? MORNING?"

**"**Yes, mornin', wake up."

**"**Why didn't you wake me up sooner? Did you come up with a way to get us out?" Elizabeth asked hastily.

**"**No, we are gonna have to wait for someone to find us."

**"**WHAT? What if no one finds us?"

**"**Then I guess we are gonna be here awhile." Jack turned over one of the empty rum bottles.

**"**No, that isn't going to do. There has to be a way." Elizabeth got up, and searched around.

"Jack..." Elizabeth began, looking somewhat perturbed.

**"**What is it, love?" Jack asked, laying back down.

**"**There are steps over there.."

**"**Oh, what do you know! There are steps over there!" Jack said, jumping up.

**"**Jack.." Elizabeth said.

**"**Um, yes, darlin'?" Jack said on his way up the steps.

**"**If I didn't know any better...I would say that you knew those steps were there this whole time." Elizabeth folded her arms.

**"**And if I didn't know any better, I would say that you had a good time." Jack tilted his hat.

**"**Jack, did you know they were there?"

**"**I cross me heart, it was to dark to see em."

**"**Mmhmm, well, let's get out of here. Will is probably having a heart attack."

Elizabeth and Jack started the walk back home, finally. Will and Ana were walking back to the house as well.

"Listen, if someone asks us where we were, leave it to me. I don't want you.." Will said.

Ana interruppted him,**"**Hey, is that Jack and Elizabeth over there?"

**"**Jack, we better not tell anyone about last night."

**"**Who, me? I would never.."

**"**Is that Will and Ana over there?" Elizabeth squinted.

They slowly approached each other.

Will and Ana greeted Jack and Elizabeth, "Hello.."

**"**Hello.." Elizabeth and Jack responded back.

After a few minutes of an awkward silence, "Where were you?" they all asked at the same time. Followed by an awkward laughter._  
_

"N_o, _but really, where were you two?" Will asked.

**"**Where were you?" Jack asked.

**"**Um.._" _Will let out a fake cough, "Ana and I were looking around but we weren't able to find her."

**"**But, where did you look for her?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**Oh, um, well, Ana had the excellent idea of looking in Tortuga, but she wasn't there so we left and looked around outside.."

**"**Well that is what we were doing, but I fell into a rum ditch thing, and Jack had to get me out and then he.." Elizabeth was jolted when Jack interrupted her.

Jack whispers to her, "Shut it Lizzy."

"I got her out and we looked some more, but whatsherface was no where to be found."

**"**Oh, so no one found her?" Will said, disappointingly.

**"**No.." Elizabeth replied.

"What about James?"

Everyone shouted, "James!" they had all forgotton about the poor fellow. They ran inside the house.

**"**How nice to see everyone." James said, sitting at the table drinking tea.

**"**Did you find Tia?" Ana asked.

**"**As a matter of fact..I did not find Tia. Where were you all?" he replied.

Everyone started talking at once._  
_

**"**One at a time please." James demanded.

**"**Jack and I were on the beach, but I fell into a ditch.." Elizabeth explained.

**"**Ana and I looked in the bar, but she wasn't there." said Will.

**"**Aye, and then I had too much to drink and I passed out outside.." Ana said.

**"**What? You two were drinking?" Elizabeth looked like she was ready to kill, and Jack started laughing.

**"**No! I was not drinking, I told her to stop but she wouldn't. It's not my fault." Will said.

**"**Well what did you two do after that?"

**"**Um..well I wasn't just going to stop looking, I made Ana follow me."

**"**Oh. James what did you do this whole time?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**What did I do? WHAT DID I DO MISS TURNER?" James lashed out.

**"**Uh, yes what did you do?" she repeated.

James went on a rant,** "**Someone, not mentioning any names Will, made me go alone. I walked into town and noticed everything was closed so I walked into the woods.."

**"**You were in the woods alone all night?"

**"**Well, not all night. I found these strange cult people and I was like, oh they are odd they might know where Tia is, but they ended up just trying to get me to join them."

**"**James.." Elizabeth said.

**"**Yes?" he replied.

**"**That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, you're making that up."

James continued,** "**No, I'm not. That isn't even the end of the story. I said no thank you, I don't want to join any cult. They kept hassling me, I said no thank you again. They kept hassling me, they wouldn't stop."

**"**Listen, James. I like crazy stories as much as the next person, but you really are makin' that up, mate." Jack said.

**"**No! I'm not making it up. There are cult people out there. So they kept bothering me, and guess what happens.."

**"**You were abducted by aliens." Ana said.

**"**No! I see Beckett from a distance. So, I yelled for him. He came over, said he knew me and got me out of there."

**"**What are you on?" asked Will.

**"**What would Beckett be doing here and why would he help you?" Elizabeth asked, trying to get to the bottom of the ridiculous story.

James replied,** "**He was selling things from the East India Trading Company. I don't know. So, then finally, I get back home and go to sleep. I wake up and there are two women here named Charlotte and Gisele or something."

**"**Where did they go?" Jack asked.

**"**They left, they said they want to have a word with you though, didn't sound good."

* * *

Jack's confessional

Last night wasn't a total failure, did get to sleep wit Lizabeth. Cept now I have to deal with the strumpets..._glare_

* * *

**"**That is a very interesting and creative story James." Elizabeth said, sarcastically.

* * *

James's confessional

Okay, so I kinda made up some things about what I did last night...okay...I made the whole thing up. Everyone else had good stories, all I did was came home with bug bites from who knows what...

* * *

**"**Onto more important matters.." Will said.

**"**What do we do about Tia?" James asked.

As everyone sat around thinking about what to do, the door to the house opened.

"Hello?" Will asked, cautiously.

**"**What is dis? What are you sittin' around dere for?" Tia asked.

**"**CALYPSO! WHERE WERE YOU?" Elizabeth jumped up, ready to attack.

**"**Where was I? I was gettin' food at da grocery store, sit down girl. What you want me ta eat? Da monkey?" As the monkey runs away._  
_

**"**Yer tellin' me you been at the grocery store since last night?" Ana asked.

**"**Hell naw, last night, when you were havin' yer little meetin' I was at dat bar singin'." Tia stated.

**"**That is impossible, Ana and I were at the bar last night looking for you." Will said.

**"**Musta missed me. I got in one of da showers, den I went in me room and I heard ya's runnin' around, den I went to da bar, I only sang one song till da man pulled me aside and said it ain't yer night ta sing, so I left." Tia explained.

* * *

Will's confessional._  
_

"If I wasn't such a nice guy, I'd kill Calypso. If only they let us have swords here.."

* * *

**"**That does not explain where you were the rest of the night." James said.

Tia sat down,** "**Well, if ya wanna know, I came back home, no one was here. I went ta bed, till da damn monkey woke me up, den I went fer a walk on da beach, it was so nice, I just stayed out dere." Tia smiled.

**"**When did you go to the store then?" James asked.

**"**I woke up starvin' and came back here, you were sleepin' on da couch by da way, den I realized no one bought any food, so I went ta get meself somethin' ta eat."

Will, who was looking exhausted looked at her,** "**We spent the whole night looking for you."

**"**Don't worry bout me, I can handle meself."

**"**So, what did ya get us to eat?" Ana asked.

**"**Pay attention, I said I went to get meself somethin' ta eat, you gonna have ta go find somethin' yerselves."

* * *

Ana's confessional

I kinda feel bad bout the whole Will thing. I shouldn't have gotten him drunk like that. He is probably gonna tell Elizabeth, and then the bitch's head will spin. Man, what did I do?

* * *

**"**I guess we are going to have to go shopping." Elizabeth sighed.

* * *

Elizabeth's confessional_  
_

I can't believe Tia, after everyone spent the whole night looking for her, she was singing and shopping? Comes home with food, but it's not for us? Excuse me, but I just spent the whole night looking for you. Okay, maybe not the whole night, but that isn't my fault! I didn't know there were steps!


	8. Goin' Shoppin'

Elizabeth, Will, Jack, James and Ana were driving the house van.

**"**Hmm, nice car they got for us." Elizabeth said, delighted.

**"**It was the least they could do, Elizabeth." James said.

**"**That's the truth of it." Jack chimes in.

Elizabeth began to check herself in the mirror**, "**Will, do you know where the store is?"

**"**Yes, it's the x on this map." he replied.

**"**Hand it over." Jack grabs it.

**"**William, you brought the wrong map." Jack scolds.

**"**What do you mean it's the wrong map? I brought the one that was on the table."

**"**This is me map for the fountain of youth, where is the map to the store?"

**"**Um, well, I don't know..I didn't see any other maps.." Will explains.

**"**Oh no, don't tell me we are lost." James puts his head in his hands.

**"**I'm sure there is a map in the car." Elizabeth searches.

**"**Captain Kidd's buried treasure, Map of America, whatever that is, Oak Island, Blackbeard's treasure..I don't see any map for this island."

**"**Can I see those for just a minute?" Jack asked. Elizabeth hands them over, and Jack secretly rolls them up and hides them in his pants.

**"**I knew it, we are lost." James's voice quivers.

**"**We are not lost, just look for a place called Shipwreck Cove." Elizabeth explained.

**"**Hmm..that sounds strangely familiar." Jack mentions.

**"**So guys, what the hell is up with Tia? One minute I thought we had a psychopath for a roommate, then she comes home and she is Paula Deen." Ana said.

**"**Aye, don't go mindin' her, she is just sorta weird an' all that.." Jack insists.

**"**Jack would know, they used too..um..hang out.." Will said.

Elizabeth rolls her eyes in disgust._  
_

**"**Where do you find these people?" Ana asked, looking at Jack.

Jack clears his throat, "Well.."

**"**You won't get a straight answer out of him, he tries to be mysterious so women find him attractive." James said.

Elizabeth sinks down in her seat._  
_

**"**Is that true Jack?" Ana asked him.

Jack coughs again, "Hardly."

**"**You should know Ana, not? You and him were..more then friends..right?" Will asked.

**"**What? Jack and I? No..what..no." Ana shook her head.

**"**Well that is funny, because when I first met you it seemed.."

**"**Do we have to talk about this?" James asked.

Elizabeth sunk lower in her seat._  
_

**"**Elizabeth, what are you doing? Are you okay?" Will asked, curiously.

**"**Yes..yes..I'm fine.. I was just dozing off.." she replied. Jack chuckles.

"What is so funny?" James asked Jack.

**"**Nothing." he replied. Suddenly, everyone stopped talking, till Will had to open up his mouth.

**"**Elizabeth, did you sleep with Jack?"

**"**WHAT?" Elizabeth and Jack asked.

**"**NO!" Shouted Elizabeth.

Will laughs,** "**I was just kidding! God, no one can take a joke."

Elizabeth laughs,** "**Oh_, _yeah funny."

**"**Good one Will." James said. James gives Will a high five for that one.

**"**Can you keep both hands on the wheel at all times please, thank you." Elizabeth said.

**"**Hey, I think I see it, it's over there." Ana points out.

**"**Oh yeah, thanks Ana. Hey, but there is a Pelegosto right near it, maybe we should go there." Will said.

**"**Um, no, we aren't going there."

**"**Why not?" Ana asked.

**"**Because Will, that place is for poor people, Shipwreck Cove is better quality food." Elizabeth advises.

**"**But we are poor." Will said.

**"**Man, Elizabeth, you're such a bitch. Don't you have any feelings?" asked Ana.

**"**Oh, I'm a bitch because I don't want half priced meat? Because no one knows where in the world it came from."

**"**What are you talking about? That is really rude." Ana said.

**"**I am not rude, I just like good quality."

**"**Elizabeth stop acting like a whiny bitch. We are going too Pelegosto." Will prompted. Elizabeth's jaw dropped, and everyone else just looked at each other._  
_

They all entered Pelegosto._  
_

Elizabeth picked a cart,** "**We better get two shopping carts, we need a lot of food. Ana and I will take this one, the guys can have this other one."

Elizabeth pushed the cart into Will's stomach and he cripples over in pain.

**"**Ow!" he cries out.

**"**Did I do that? Whoops. Let's go Ana, we will go this way."

Elizabeth and Ana headed to the drink isle.

**"**Liz, are you..uh..in a bad mood or somethin'?" Ana asked.

**"**What if I am?" she responded.

**"**Nothin', I was just wonderin'. You don't have to tell me or anything."

**"**Good, because I wasn't planning on it." Elizabeth jabbed.

**"**I'm sorry I called ya a bitch, if that is the problem."

**"**No, it's whatever. What drinks should we get?" Elizabeth changed the subject.

**"**Well anything with alcohol for me is good, maybe some soda, chocolate milk, more alcohol."

**"**Okay, so we are getting diet soda, water and no alcohol." Elizabeth started picking things out.

**"**That isn't what I said."

**"**I know."

James, Jack and Will walked aimlessly around the store.

**"**Will, what are you looking for?" James asked.

**"**Um, I don't know."

Jack looked around,** "**Stop bein' so indecisive, I want to get out of here, this place gives me the creeps."

**"**It is just a grocery store." Will stated.

**"**I know, exactly.."

Will stopped,** "**The truth is..is that I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea how to shop for food, I can't cook."

**"**Don't feel bad, I usually just steal other people's food." Jack admitted.

**"**You two are hopeless. All you do is look for things you like, mix it together and make it." James tried to explain.

**"**Fine then, pick some things out if you know so much." Will pointed to the shelves.

**"**Well okay, I like tea." James grabbed some tea.

**"**Now, Will, what do you like?" he asked.

**"**Um, what do I like? I guess I like..cheese."

**"**Great." James found the cheese.

**"**Okay and last but not least, Jack, what do you like?" James asked.

**"**Well, I like rum."

**"**Okay, but see that is a liquid, I already picked out a liquid, tea, can't have more than one liquid, you need too pick something else." James said.

**"**I don't think tea is technically a liquid.." Will said.

**"**Why do I have to pick somethin' else? You pick somethin' else." Jack asked, annoyed.

**"**Okay, no, I'm not going to do that. Pick something else." James said.

**"**No, I'm not going to pick somethin' else, I pick rum."

James ignored him,** "**Okay, Jack likes.." choosing the closest thing to him, he picked out waffles.

**"**Jack likes waffles. See, now we have ingredients."

**"**Well, that was easy. Let's go find Elizabeth and Ana." Will said.

Elizabeth and Ana walked towards the check out

**"**Um, Ana, I think we have too many things." Items began falling out of their car as they walked.

**"**Here, let me carry some things." Ana said.

Will, James and Jack walked over with their cart, as well.

**"**Wow, that is a lot of food." Will said, while looking at Elizabeth's cart.

**"**Who is that? I can't see over the food." Ana asked.

**"**It's just Will. Yes, well, there are a lot of us. What did you all get?" Elizabeth looks into their cart._  
_

**"**Tea, cheese and waffles..you three certainly are overachievers."

**"**Let's check out now please." Ana sighed.

**"**Sure, who has the money?" Elizabeth looked at everyone look at each other.

**"**Money, you know, silver and gold. Who has it?"

**"**If no one has any coins, how were we going to buy food?" she asked.

**"**We thought you knew." Will said.

**"**You were the one with the job, come on." Elizabeth said.

**"**Um, I kind of had to use all of my money to get here."

**"**Pathetic. James, what about you?"

**"**Same story.." he replied.

As a last resort, Elizabeth looked at Jack._  
_

**"**Why are you lookin' at me?"

**"**Jack, how were you planning on paying for things when you got here, when you have no real job and suck being a pirate?"

**"**That hurts me feelings, love. I am the most magnificent pirate there is."

**"**Jack, I really don't care what it hurts and if you are so magnificent, where's the gold?"

**"**Yer the pirate king, where's yours?"

That led everyone to look at Elizabeth._  
_

**"**You know, Elizabeth, he is right. Where is you're gold?" Will asked.

**"**Um, uh. Will, remember after everything happened you left me alone to do that stupid duty." she replied.

**"**Yes, but it wasn't my choice, what does that have to do with the gold?"

**"**You probably feel really bad that I was all alone, huh? Elizabeth frowned, trying to make him feel bad.

**"**What does this have to do with your gold?"

**"**I kind of spent it..all.."

**"**Spent it all?" Will repeated.

**"**Yes, I was so sad about you leaving that I bought one too many things." Elizabeth answered.

**"**What did you spend it on?"

**"**Um, everything, but mostly a house.." she replied.

**"**How could you just spend everything? We already had a house.." Will wanted to know.

**"**I know, but it wasn't good enough, it was practically a shack." she explained.

**"**So what? You were alone to live in a shack till I came back in ten years, and that makes me the worst husband in the world?"

**"**I kind of can't stand here with these things any longer, can we please make a decision on what to do." Ana said.

**"**Maybe we can sneak out with our carts." James suggested.

**"**You mean leave without paying?" Will asked.

**"**No, he just means sneakin' out for the fun of sneakin'." Jack said, sarcastically.

**"**I know there is a lot of food in the cart, but maybe if we all take some and hide it in our clothes it will work." James whispered.

**"**What about the rest of it?" Ana asked.

**"**There is a lady with a baby in here, we can just commandeer her baby carriage, put stuff in it and walk out." James explained.

**"**I'm impressed Norrington." Jack shook his hand.

James smiled, "Thanks."

They all went into an isle where it was clear.

**"**I don't know, this seems kind of ridiculous." Will rubbed his back, looking frightened.

**"**We either do it or we starve for the next 6 months." Elizabeth poked him.

James put the tea, cheese and waffles in his shirt. Ana put some bottles of alcohol under her shirt. Elizabeth and Will put some food under their clothes.

**"**Jack, you go find the lady with the baby and distract her, and make sure she is carrying her baby somehow." James said.

Jack went to find the lady with the baby.

**"**Hello there." Jack greeted.

**"**Hi." the lady greeted back.

**"**Hello, nice day ain't it?" Jack asked.

**"**Yes, very nice day. Who are you again?" she asked.

**"**Who am I? I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, love." Jack jumped in front of her.

**"**You? You're Captain Jack Sparrow?"

**"**Yep! That's me." he smiled.

**"**Get away from my baby." She hid her baby to her side.

**"**Wait a minute." Jack said, putting up his finger.

Jack put his arm around the lady, and walked away from the carriage_  
_

**"**It looks like he got her away, Will, you're going to have to hold the baby." James said, silently.

Will nervously picked up the baby. James, Elizabeth and Ana quickly started putting things in the carriage.

**"**I really don't like this." Will whimpered.

**"**Keep it down." Ana hushed him.

The baby started making noises.

**"**I think it is time to go**." **Will stated.**  
**

**"**We are done, we will just have to leave some things." James said.

**"**Great. Now what do I do with the baby, put it in the cart?"

**"**Give the baby back to her." James said.

**"**What am I suppose to say to her? Oh, here is you're baby and we stole you're carriage?" Will asked.

**"**Sure."

James, Ana and Elizabeth started walking swiftly to the exit.

**"**I think this carriage has a broken wheel_." _Elizabeth said, looking at the bottom of the cart._  
_

Jack and the lady were talking, when Will came over.

**"**I don't do that!" she slapped Jack.

**"**Excuse me, m'am, you're baby was crying and.." Will tried to give her an explanation.

**"**What are you doing with my baby?" she asked, horrified. She grabbed her baby._  
_

**"**Nice to meet you, we must be going, don't forget me offer_" _Jack smiled to her, and ran off._  
_

**"**Hey!" she yelled.

Jack and Will made a run for the exit while food fell out of Will's clothing. They got outside and everyone noticed a cashier was chasing them, and everyone ran faster.

**"**Ahh! The wheel came off!" Elizabeth screamed.

Elizabeth let go of the carriage accidentally, and it went down a hill, tumbled and landed in woods. They all jumped back in the van, and went speeding off.


	9. Wigs, Wigs, Wigs

Elizabeth, Ana, Will, James, and Jack were in the car, and James was driving.

**"**We were so close.._" _James said._  
_

**"**WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" Elizabeth wanted to hurt someone.

**"**You lost all of our food is what happened!" Jack yelled.

**"**The wheel came off, I couldn't help it!"

Ana looked at everyone,** "**Was anyone able to get any food? I was able to save one bottle of alcohol."

**"**You and you're stupid alcohol, you're worse than Jack. Everything I had fell somewhere." Elizabeth put her head against the seat, and tried not to hit someone.

**"**I lost everything too." Will said.

**"**Well, I still have the tea, cheese and waffles." James said.

**"**Oh good. How is tea, cheese and waffles going to last us for the next six months?"

**"**They are my ingredients."

**"**Ingredients? For what, exactly? Paste?" Elizabeth hissed.

**"**Paste? It's for food Elizabeth! You mix it together." James smirked, thinking Elizabeth was one daft girl.

**"**You're telling me you are going to mix tea, cheese and waffles and make dinner from that, for the next six months?" Elizabeth laughed.

**"**Precisely." James replied.

Elizabeth and Ana laughed._  
_

**"**I don't know what is so funny, you should be happy that we came out of this with something." James said.

**"**You're right James, thanks." Elizabeth, and Ana were still laughing.

**"**James, you are speeding." Will pointed.

**"**No, I'm doing the speed limit." James said.

**"**The speed limit is twenty-five and you are doing sixty and I think you are going the wrong way." Will looked out the window.

**"**Will, just shut up."

Cop sirens began going off.

**"**I told you."

**"**Oh my God.." Ana put her hands over her face, and Jack started climbing over the seat to hide in the back.

**"**Ow, Jack, what are you doing?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**What does it look like I'm doin, love'?"

**"**Good idea." Ana joined him.

**"**Just pull over." Will demanded.

**"**Well, maybe they are after someone else." James said.

**"**Pull over!"

Will grabed the wheel, and the car swerved. They pulled their car off to the side of the road.

**"**WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**Everyone, stop talking." James said.

Someone got out of the cop car wearing sunglasses, and started walking over.

**"**Hello Norrington." The cop greeted him.

**"**Um, hello?" James said.

**"**Don't you recognize me?" the man asked.

**"**BECKETT? I thought that wig looked like yours. What in the world are you doing here?"

Jack choked a little._  
_

**"**Well, I'm a cop and I'm pulling you over." Beckett replied.

**"**Yes, but why are you a cop?" James asked.

**"**WHAT THE HELL? I thought all of these people were dead!" Elizabeth yelled.

**"**Miss, you're going to have to calm down, or I'll take you in." Beckett demanded.

**"**Liz, remember James during one of his ramblings said that Beckett hired him again or something and then he said he saw him when he was in the woods?" Will asked her.

**"**Yes, but I wasn't paying attention the first time, because he was like, crying or something and I thought he made that other story up."

"James, you weren't making up that story about the cult?" Will asked, shocked.

**"**Well..I.." James began.

**"**I'm afraid I have to have a word with you, Norrington. Please, step out of the vehicle."

**"**What do you need to see me for? These are the pirates." James said, pointing to everyone else._  
_

**"**Actually, I need to see Elizabeth Swann and William Turner as well. Please, step out you three, before I have to use force."

They all stepped out of the car._  
_

**"**There is a little bit of a problem. I received a call from a store manager, he said something about a baby and shoplifting. Do you three know anything about that?"

**"**Um, no. I know nothing about that, that is really unfortunate." James looked down.

**"**How do you know it is unfortunate? I didn't tell you what happened yet."

**"**Just a hunch.." James shrugged.

**"**Apparently, a lady was complaining about a man who took her baby, which fit the description of Will Turner. Also, they said a young woman ran out with the baby carriage."

**"**Oh, that is terrible."

**"**Yes it is. So you see something is going to have to be done here."

**"**Well, how do you know it was them? Also, why am I involved?"

**"**This is the car they described, and you were driving sporadically and over the speed limit. So, it all looks very curious, doesn't it?"

**"**I suppose, sir."

Elizabeth interruppted,** "**Excuse me, but I don't know anything about a baby carriage and why would Will take a baby?"

**"**Well, I certainly don't know Miss Swann. I think everyone is going to have to come in for some questioning. Was there anyone else in the car?"

**"**No." James replied.

Elizabeth, Will, James sat at the police station.

**"**You know, even after all of those battles we were in, and horrible things I have seen, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me." Elizabeth started to sob.

**"**What? I think you're forgetting a little event that happened on the Flying Dutchman." Will said.

**"**No, this is worse than that."

**"**WHAT? Are you kidding me?"

**"**This isn't the time to have a lover's quarrel." James said.

**"**This is you're fault James, it was all you're idea. I can't believe I'm saying that to you and not Jack." Elizabeth sobbed some more.

**"**Maybe if you didn't decide to buy a house without asking me, we wouldn't be here." Will said.

**"**Maybe if you didn't suck at your job, we wouldn't be here!" Elizabeth was angry.

**"**No, this was my idea, it's all my fault. I'm sorry Elizabeth." James apologized.

"It will all be okay James, at least you apologized."

**"**Elizabeth, I can't do this anymore. You're obsession with James is making me sick, we have to break up." Will started pacing.

**"**Obsession?" James eyes lit up.

**"**Will, you're breaking up with me in a police station?" Elizabeth began to tear up.

**"**Yes, I'm afraid so. I have to move on."

**"**Fine, if that is how you want it. We are done. I can't take you're crazy stupid outbursts anymore, anyway."

**"**Really?" James wanted to know if they were serious.

**"**Fine. My outbursts? You are always yelling about something, not to mention flirting with every male in the house." Will exposed.

**"**So, wait, did you two really just break up?" James asked again.

**"**Yes." they answered.

**"**Finally! Elizabeth, I love you, I've always loved you, which I think you know, at least I hope you know by now." James got down on his knees.

**"**Huh? James, we already tried to be together, remember?"

**"**But, you're obsessed with me, Will just said you were..and remember that time at the bar. I know obsessions aren't healthy, but we can make this crazy roller coaster of a relationship work." James begged.

**"**I barely remember that time at the bar, I was drunk. James, I don't love you, please, you are embarrassing yourself."

**"**You don't love James?" Will was surprised.

**"**Well, I like like him, but I don't love him."

**"**You like, like him? What does that mean? Will asked.

**"**I like, like him, you know, it's different than liking a person but it isn't loving someone either."

**"**She likes, likes me" James smiled.

* * *

Becket called James for questioning, James went in, and Theodore Groves is sitting at a table, as Beckett leaves.

**"**Theo, what are you doing here?"

**"**Hello, Norrington. I ask the questions around here, sit down."

Groves asked,** "**What do you think you were doing driving like that? You could have killed someone."

**"**Yes, I know, but I didn't.."

**"**Ahh, stop right there. Nice wig, I'm surprised you are still wearing it, considering you are hanging out with no goods."

**"**Well, I think it looks good.." James adjusted his wig.

**"**Stop right there. Where is Jack Sparrow?"

**"**Well..I don't know.."

**"**Stop talking. I'm trying to ask questions here." Groves scolded him.

**"**I'm just trying to.."

**"**That is enough! Do you want to be behind bars for twenty years? Level with me Norrington, what is going on here?"

**"..." **James was afraid to speak.

**"**Mmm, yes, that is what I thought. Okay, you are free to go. Tell that girl to come in here."

As James left, Elizabeth walked in.

**"**Well, how are you doing today?" Groves asked.

**"**I'm fine, thank you." Elizabeth smiled.

**"**Good."

Elizabeth and Groves stared at each other for a few moments. Elizabeth smiled._  
_

**"**Okay, you are free to go."

Next was William.

**"**Hello Mr. Turner."

**"**Hello.." Will greeted.

**"**That is enough, I don't need any back talk from you."

**"**Excuse me?" Will asked, confused.

**"**Are you trying to be some kind of punk?" Groves asked.

**"**A what?"

**"**What were you thinking, trying to steal a baby from a poor defenseless lady in a supermarket?"

**"**I didn't try to steal a baby, it was crying and I just.." Will couldn't finish.

**"**I really don't like the attitude Mr. Turner, we might have to keep you here."

**"**What? Keep me where?"

"In a cell."

**"**I'm a blacksmith, it probably isn't a good idea." Will admitted.

**"**I see, you are already trying to plan an escape. What kind of monster are you?"

**"**I'm not a monster!" Will screamed.

**"**I heard just about enough, Mr. Turner. Beckett! Get in here. Will, you are going to jail for kidnapping and a list of other crimes. Take William here away."

**"**A LIST OF CRIMES? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING." Will yelled, as they dragged him to a cell.

Elizabeth and James were sitting outside the police station.

**"**It's been a half an hour, where do you think Will is?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**I don't know, I'm going to go in and ask."

James went inside, but before Elizabeth knew it, he was running back out.

**"**I have bad news. They are keeping Will here."

**"**Oh my God...he is in jail?"

**"**Yes." James said.

**"**Doesn't he have to be tried or something?"

**"**No." James said.

**"**HOW LONG IS HE GOING TO BE IN JAIL FOR?" Elizabeth asked, crying.

**"**Twenty years..unless..we can pay them gold."

**"**What kind of justice system is this? We have no money. I'm going to go in and call the house for someone to pick us up." Elizabeth went inside, and called home.

Elizabeth came back outside,** "**Tia answered, she said she has no idea where Jack and Ana are and hung up on me."

**"**That is so like them.." James stares out into space. Elizabeth begins to cry._  
_

**"**My goodness! Elizabeth are you crying?"

James goes over to console Elizabeth, she accidentally punches him in the face.

**"**I just feel so bad about everything!" Elizabeth cries.

**"**Ow! You just punched me. I think my nose is bleeding."

**"**Good you asshole!" Elizabeth yelled.

**"**Elizabeth, just before you told me everything would be okay remember?"

**"**It isn't okay you moron! Nothing is okay! My husband is in jail because of you!"

**"**I said I was sorry! I thought you said you didn't love him anymore?"

**"**Just forget it. We aren't going to get anywhere sitting here. We have to start walking." Elizabeth sniffled.


	10. Walking Home

Jack and Ana were in the back of the van.

**"**Why are we still sitting back here?" Ana asked.

**"**I do not know." Jack replied.

Jack and Ana took a peek over the back car seat.

**"**Everyone is gone, I guess we should hurry an' get back to the house." Ana said.

**"**Why hurry? Unless you wanna be part of that mess, then you can walk home." Jack answered.

**"**Well, it's just that...well...I feel bad." Ana said.

**"**YOU FEEL BAD?"

**"**Aye, feel bad. What if they really are in trouble?"

**"**Why did they ever let you come here? Yer not a pirate. And who cares! They brought it on themselves." Jack jumped over the seat.

**"**I am too a pirate and we were just as much a part of it as they were." Ana yelled over the back seat.

**"**You? A pirate? Nope, don't think so. You haven't even said "argh" since ya got here."

**"**Jack, everyone knows that is just a stereotype brought upon by old pirate movies." Ana explains.

**"**Pirate movies? You mean those movin' pictures?"

**"**How old are you again?" Ana asked.

**"**Meh, never seen any, never cared too."

**"**You never seen a movie? You never saw Captain Blood?" Ana asked.

**"**Captain who? Captain Jack Sparrow is the only captain that matters 'round here, love."

**"**Okay, it's not a real person, it's just a movie."

**"**That is the problem with the world today, there just ain't enough pirates like meself anymore." Jack informed.

**"**And thank goodness."

**"**Why don't we go to the movies?" Ana asked, after some silence.

**"**You mean those movin' pictures?"

**"**Stop callin' em that, they are movies."

**"**Okay, but yer drivin'."

Ana rolled her eyes, and went to the front of the van.

Elizabeth and James were walking along a street

**"**My intention wasn't to make you cry, Elizabeth."

**"**Yes, I know. I just wish Will wasn't in jail."

**"**Can't the production people help us or something?" James asked.

**"**No, there is some kind of code."

**"**Code? This whole thing is my fault."

James sat down on the side of the road.

**"**I know it is. Why are you sitting down? We have a long way to go."

**"**I'm tired and it's hot." James started fanning himself.

**"**Maybe if you took that stupid wig off."

**"**You don't like my wig?" James felt his wig.

**"**Of course I don't like your stupid wig, it looks ridiculous."

James removed the wig.

**"**Well geez, Elizabeth, you could have told me that when we were going to get married."

Ana and Jack were driving along the road, when Ana spotted Elizabeth.

**"**Jack wake up, is that Elizabeth and James sitting there?"

**"**Aye, probably." Jack rolled over.

**"**It is James and Elizabeth, we have to pick them up."

**"**No we don't." Jack blinked, and rested again.

**"**I think they are walking home and Will isn't there."

**"**Good, maybe they have finally come to their senses and left him somewhere."

**"**That's mean, I'm stoppin' to pick them up."

**"**The hell you are!"

Jack tried to take a hold of the wheel.

**"**Hey! That is the van!" Elizabeth yelled.

Elizabeth and James try to flag them down, but Jack and Ana almost run them over.

**"**Hey!" James yelled.

**"**Oh my God, they almost ran us over!"

**"**I can't believe you just did that." Ana said.

**"**I can." Jack replied.

James and Elizabeth were walking.

**"**I was thinking, the only way we are going to get Will out of jail is if we all get jobs, I mean, we are all broke anyway." Elizabeth said.

**"**Ha! Jack? Or even better, DAVY JONES getting a job? Good one Elizabeth."

**"**They have too. I'm sure they will after I talk to them about it."

**"**For some reason, I highly doubt that."

**"**I'm sure Jack could be good at something, and Davy could..uh..um.." Elizabeth said.

**"**Nice try, Elizabeth, it's going to be up to you, Ana and I to get Will out of jail."

**"**Pfft, Ana. What is she good at?" Elizabeth asked.

**"**Let's keep walking." James said, wanting to ignore the question.

Ana and Jack looked up at the movie showings.

**"**So, what should we see? We can see, The Black Swan, Peter Pan, Pirates of Tortuga, or Twilight."

**"**What a wide variety." Jack said, sarcastically.

**"**What's it gonna be?"

**"**Pirates of Tortuga! Please, please, please?"

**"**Okay, relax, let's go sneak around the back."

Ana and Jack went to the back of the building.

"James! I see the house! We made it!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

**"**Why are all of the lights out?"

Elizabeth replied,** "**I don't know, Tia better not be missing again."

Elizabeth and James entered the house, "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?"

Tia and Davy Jones were on the couch watching a movie in the dark.

**"**No one was home, we decided ta have a date night, is dat okay wit you?"

Davy Jones snapped his weird claw hand.

**"**DATE NIGHT?" Elizabeth asked, feeling sick to her stomach.

**"**Aye! Date night, why don't anyone hear anything in dis house?"

**"**We better just leave them alone." James nodded.

James and Elizabeth went to go sit outside on the beach._  
_

"What in the hell did we just watch?" Jack asked Ana.

**"**A movie about vampires." Ana replied.

**"**I thought it was supposed to be about pirates of Tortuga!"

**"**I don't know, we must have went into the wrong one."

**"**A couple of hours of my life I can't get back." Jack mumbled.

**"**It wasn't that bad, the vampire guy was kinda good lookin'."

**"**They all looked like they needed some rum." Jack said.

* * *

**"**It's getting dark out." James said.

**"**Yes, I can see."

**"**At least we are home now, finally." James looked on the positive side.

**"**Yes, but Will is not here." Elizabeth sounded sullied.

**"**Did you two really break up today?" James asked.

**"**Ugh, I don't know anymore." Elizabeth threw some sand.

Ana and Jack pulled up in the van.

**"**Look who is back, maybe they will come after us with cutlasses this time." Elizabeth snarled.

**"**What happened to you two today?" Ana said, walking over.

**"**Will is in jail and no thanks to you two, Elizabeth and I had to walk all the way home."

**"**It wasn't my fault, Jack grabbed the wheel and we almost hit you."

**"**I should have known." James groaned.

Jack looked around, ignoring it all.

**"**None of that matters, Will is in jail and we have to get him out." Elizabeth said.

**"**Wow, well, what are we supposed to do?" Ana asked.

**"**We all have to get jobs, so we can afford to get him out." Elizabeth explained.

**"**What?" Jack looked.

"Yes, Jack, you're going to have to get a job."

**"**Doin' what exactly? My ship isn't here.." Jack said.

**"**You are going to get a normal job."

**"**That ain't going to work, love. I don't know anythin' bout bein' normal." Jack smirked.

**"**Then you're going to learn." Elizabeth pushed him.

**"**Well, where were you two?" James asked.

**"**We went to the movies." Ana said.

**"**The movies? Like a date?" Elizabeth thought that was funny.

**"**Uh, no, like just regular people." Ana said.

**"**Aye."

**"**Oh, yeah, like I'm going to believe that." Elizabeth replied.

**"**It's true."

**"**Can we stop acting like children?" James asked, angrily.

Elizabeth walked over to Jack.

**"**I don't believe you." Elizabeth stormed off into the house. Ana and James stared at Jack.

**"**You know what I was thinking while I was walking home, after you two almost killed us." James said.

**"**What?"

**"**I was thinking how we all came here to get away and forget about each other, yet, here we all are!"

**"**Not me, remember, I wasn't even there during your fun adventures. I just came here to party." Ana smiled.

**"**Aye.." Jack grumbled.


	11. Hired

The next morning Jack, Ana, James, Elizabeth, and Tia were in the living room.

Elizabeth was towering over everyone,** "**Okay. Everyone shut up and listen to me. I had enough of this crap. My husband is now in jail because of you idiots. We can't afford to get him out because we are poor; and the stupid people who put this thing together won't help us! We have to get jobs."

**"**I have me a job, child. I sing at da bar." Tia crosses her legs.

**"**Yes, we all know you sing at the bar! Let's clap for Calypso everyone!" Elizabeth exclaims.

**"**I think she lost it." Jack said, looking at Ana.

**"**Aye."

**"**James, you are going to apply for a job at Shipwreck Cove, since we will never be able to set foot in Pelegosto ever again; thanks to your horrible, stupid plan." Elizabeth said.

**"**A grocery store? I can't work at a grocery store!" James resisted.

**"**SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! You will apply there and be happy about it!"

**"**Okay, so what am I supposed to do?" Ana asked.

**"**You are going to apply at the movie theater."

**"**Awesome." Ana was thrilled.

**"**Never mind, you are going to be a waitress at The Pirate Cove." Elizabeth changed her mind.

**"**WHAT?"

**"**Where is Davy?" Elizabeth asked everyone, and then he appeared out of nowhere.

**"**Nice timing. You are going to work at the movie theater." Elizabeth explained.

**"**Me?"

**"**Yes, you."

Davy snapped his weird claw hand at that demand.

**"**DON'T GIVE ME THAT! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD." Elizabeth yells.

Jack looked around cautiously.

**"**Jack, Jack, Jack..what are_ you_ going to do?" Elizabeth walked around thinking.

**"**Someone should probably stay home and look after the house." Jack said.

**"**You're funny." Elizabeth smirks.

"Really?" Jack asked.

Elizabeth's face turns serious, "No."

Jack's smile turned into a frown._  
_

**"**You are going to be a dog walker."

**"**I can't do that. I think you made a little mistake." Jack got up.

**"**Okay, so now that everyone has a job, get going." Elizabeth waved her hands.

**"**What are you going to do Elizabeth?" asked James.

**"**Oh, me?" Elizabeth laughed slightly, "...um..well..I'm still looking for a job.."

**"**Oh no, I don't think so. Nice try Elizabeth." James smirked.

**"**I'm sure, I have no idea what you mean, James." Elizabeth looked at him seriously.

**"**You weren't going to get a job."

**"**I certainly am..I already thought of just the place."

**"**Oh really? Where?" Ana asked.

**"**Uh, the library." Elizabeth said.

**"**What library? I didn't see any library." Ana said.

**"**Yeah, well, uh.. it's kinda out of the way." Elizabeth explained.

**"**Why don't you apply to the gift shop right in town_?" _Ana asked._  
_

**"**OKAY! I LIED! I'll...just work there..geez.." Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

James drove to Shipwreck Cove to apply for the a job.

James entered the store, and looked for the manager,** "**Excuse me, can I speak to the manager. I would like to apply for a job."

**"**He's in there hun." an employee pointed.

**"**Okay, thank you."

James flashed an awkward smile and went into a room.

**"**Hi, so you want a job here?" the manager asked.

**"**Yes sir, I do." James replied.

**"**Okay, well, we don't have applications here. I'm gonna ask you some questions, like an interview." the manager stated.

**"**Oh..okay." James said, he was getting nervous._  
_

**"**Do you have any previous work experience?" the manager asked.

**"**I do. Not to toot my own horn, but I am a former Lieutenant, Commodore and Admiral of the Royal Navy." James smiled.

**"**Cute. What are you doing now?" the manager continued to ask questions.

**"**I'm unemployed sir, that is why I'm here."

**"**Yes. Well, why aren't you a part of the Royal Navy now?"

**"**It's funny you ask me that. See, I'm supposed to be dead." James explained.

**"**Dead?" the manager asked, wide eyed.

**"**Yes, dead. I was actually stabbed by a man with tentacles, and I died."

**"**Are you some kinda lunatic?"

**"**What? No! I'm completely serious. I have the scar to prove it." James opens his shirt and revealed a scar.

**"**Excuse me, we run a respectable business here, we don't need any of that."

**"**Sorry." James apologized, putting his shirt back together, "The truth is, is that I came back. I think Tia Dalma, I mean Calypso, had something to do with it, but to be honest I'm not completely sure."

**"**Tia who? What are you going on about?"

**"**I'm here now and I need a job. I've fought pirates, and battles, and I died. I can work a cash register, I swear. I NEED TO DO THIS FOR THE WOMAN I LOVE!" James became hysterical.

**"**Sit down! ARE YOU MAD? Listen, I don't know, your story is half baked." the manager explained.

**"**I'm sorry. Listen, I'll give you the phone number of Cutler Beckett, he knows me. He will tell you."

**"**Cutler Beckett? As in the cop?" the manager looked at James, confused.

**"**Yes, now he is a cop." James replied.

**"**Well, that changes things. You're hired."

**"**REALLY? THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" James clasped his hands.

**"**Settle down son. You start tomorrow."

Ana entered The Pirate Cove restaurant.

**"**Hi, I'm looking for a job." she greeted.

**"**Hello, come into my office. What is your name?" the manager asked.

**"**Anamaria."

**"**What is your last name?"

**"**Um..I don't have one." Ana sunk down in her seat.

**"**Okay then. Do you have any previous work experience?" the woman asked.

**"**Not really..I stole a couple of ships, killed a few officers.."

The manager stared at Ana._  
_

**"**Okay, I know this place is called The Pirate Cove Restaurant, but you don't have to take it that seriously."

**"**I am being serious. I'm a real pirate." Ana explained.

**"**Then what are you doing here?"

Ana went on,** "**I'm currently living with a bunch of roommates for a reality show."

**"**Why do you want to work here?"

**"**One of my roommates is in jail, and this girl I live with, her name is Elizabeth, is making us get jobs so we can get her husband out of jail."

**"**Interesting. Well, I guess you can have the job. We are desperate." the manager shrugged.

**"**Thanks." Ana smiled.

Elizabeth entered The Gift Shop.

**"**Are you the one that called about a job?"

Elizabeth nodded,** "**Yes."

**"**Why do you want to work here?"

**"**Well, there has been an incident. I really need the money."

**"**Oh really? What kind of incident?" the woman asked.

**"**My husband..my poor husband.._" _Elizabeth began sobbing._  
_

**"**Are you okay m'am?"

**"**Oh, yes, I'll be fine. My husband has been missing for months.."

**"**Wow, I'm sorry to hear that." the woman consoled Elizabeth.

**"**I know. He was captured by pirates."

The woman looked at her, "Pirates?"

**"**Yes, cutthroat, evil, pirates. I hate pirates."

**"**Oh, well, here you will be selling pirate memorabilia, souvenirs and gifts." the woman backed away.

**"**Oh! Well, I love pirate gifts. Who doesn't want..say..this lovely compass? Or this gorgeous pirate flag? Yes, I do love pirate souvenirs." Elizabeth smiled, and started grabbing things.

**"**Oh."

**"**Yes. I need this job so I can afford to pay the ransom."

**"**In that case, I guess you can have the job."

**"**Thank you. I'm sure if my husband could thank you, he would."

Jack walked into Dog Day Care.

**"**Hello, are you Clint? Someone named Elizabeth called, saying you would be in."

**"**Clint? I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, love." Jack said.

**"**Oh..well..okay. So you want a job here?" the lady owner asked.

**"**Not really." Jack shook his head.

**"**Oh, then why are you here?"

**"**You see, the evil, pirate side of me is saying 'get out of here! You don't need that!', but the good man in me, is saying there is a distressing damsel who needs help."

**"**...Okaaaay. Do you like animals?"

**"**No. Actually, I hate animals. We have a pet undead monkey, I would kill him if he wasn't already undead. I also especially hate mangy mutts who steal keys. Nevertheless, I need this job."

**"**Okaaay. Do you have any references? Previous work experience? Animal experience, preferably dogs?"

**"**Other then the experiences I have already described to you. No. As far as references go, I have none. My previous work experience includes pirating, kidnapping, commandeering, impersonating, arson, looting.." Jack wanted to continue, but was shut down.

**"**Excuse me, that isn't work experience, those are criminal offenses."

**"**Aye, you can file it under that too."

**"**I don't have time for jokes. Please leave." the woman waved him off.

**"**Did you know I'm captain of a ship? A _big _ship?" Jack said, looking into her eyes.

**"**No."

**"**Well, I am, but it's missing something." Jack said, getting closer.

**"**Oh, really? What? Someone too navigate it?" she smirked.

**"**No. A _woman_." Jack smiled.

**"**Funny. Goodbye." the woman walked away.

**"**You know...my compass pointed here." Jack went after her.

**"**Wow, that is really amazing" she said, rolling her eyes.

**"**I think it may have pointed here for a reason. Hire me, and you can join me on me ship, when the time comes."

**"**That sounds ridiculous."

**"**It's true, love. I am the most magnificent pirate there is; who wouldn't want to join me on me ship?"

**"**Ugh, fine. You better be telling the truth." she looked at him.

Jack smiled,** "**Would I lie?"

Davy Jones appeared in the manager's office of the movie theater.

**"**AH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?" the manager screamed.

**"**Hire me." Davy demanded.

**"**WHAT? WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU IN A BUCKET?"

**"**HIRE ME!" Davy demanded again.

**"**Uh..um...You need to fill some things out first..."

Davy snapped his weird claw hand.

**"**OKAY! FINE! Don't hurt me! You can start work tomorrow..."

Davy disappeared._  
_

The manager looked around,** "**Where did he go?"


	12. On The Job

"Do we have to wear these uniforms?" James asked.

"Yes." an employee replied.

"But, I look positively silly."

"Quit your complaining, you have customers coming."

"Oh yes, of course." James looked on.

Mr. Cotton and his parrot showed up with groceries, which consisted of hardtack, dried beans, and mouthwash.

"Hello, how are you today?" James asked, but Mr. Cotton of course, was silent.

"Excuse me, do I know you from somewhere?"

"Walk the plank." the parrot squawked.

"Excuse me?" James asked.

"Dead man tell no tales." the parrot said.

"Okay, well that should be about one doubloon." James said, after looking at the items.

"Walk the plank." the parrot said again.

"One doubloon please."

There was silence._  
_

"Um, sorry, but it's one doubloom."

Mr. Cotton looked in his pockets, then walked out with his parrot.

"Um..wait.." James said.

"What's the problem here?" the employee came over.

"Uh, I don't know, he just left the store."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just told him it was about one doubloon." James shrugged.

"Doubloons! We don't use doubloons in this store, we use the dollar, and why aren't you using the register!"

"The dollar? I don't know, uh, I didn't see anything about doubloons on it."

"Yes you know, dollars and cents, that's what you use the register for!" the employee yelled, and dangled some money in his face.

"Oh yes, dollars. Thank you for clearing that up." James said, pretending to know what the person was talking about.

"Don't let that happen again!"

"No, it won't." James said.

"Good."

James went back to looking at his register.

"Hello." said a customer.

"Oh, hello."

"I was just wondering how much this is, there was no price." the customer showed James.

"Um, yes, that is about..well, I don't know."

"Well can you scan it just to see?"

"Scan it?" James asked.

"Yeah, this thing." the customer pointed.

"Sure."

The customer looked at James confused.

"It's not doing anything."

"You're supposed to scan this part." the customer showed James.

"Yes, I knew that, thank you. It's one dot nine nine."

"What?"

"One dot nine nine." James repeated.

"Here."

"Thank you, have a nice day." James smiled.

"You didn't even count it. What about my change?"

"Here, take this." James handed the customer a random amount of change.

"This isn't the right change."

"Um, just keep it."

"Gee, thanks." the customer said, and left the store.

Elizabeth sat in a small store behind a counter.

"Stupid pirate nic nacs." she said to herself.

A customer walked in.

"Excuse me, do you sell pirate flags?" the person asked.

"No."

"Then what is that hanging behind you?" the customer looked.

"That just looks like a pirate flag." Elizabeth said, sarcastically.

"Where can I get one?"

"On a pirate ship." Elizabeth stated.

"You're funny. What's this?" the customer said, and picked something up.

"Looks like a music box."

"Oh yeah! Look! There's music!" the customer smiled. Elizabeth rolled her eyes._  
_

"Do you plan on buying something?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well, I don't know, I have nephew who just loves everything pirates, but I just don't know."

Thirty minutes went by._  
_

"Oh, look at this! It's a sword!" the customer picked it up, and started pointing it around.

"Do not point that at me, will you please leave, or buy something?" Elizabeth warned.

The customer started whipping the sword around.

"I really wouldn't do that." Elizabeth warned again.

"Why? Are you afraid? Huh? Huh? Look at me I'm a pirate." the customer joked.

Elizabeth jumped over the counter, and took the sword out of the customer's hand within seconds.

"Hey! I was just jokin' around!" the customer yelled.

Elizabeth poked the Customer with the sword.

"Listen, creep! Don't mess with me. I know how to handle a sword, even if it is plastic."

The customer ran out of the store.

Ana was at Shipwreck Cove, and went to wait on a table. There were two men sitting there.

"What ya want? she asked.

"Hold on a minute, we are still deciding." Murtogg said.

"Who is still deciding?" Mullroy asked.

"Me." Murtogg responded.

"Well, that is not we, that is just you."

"Not true, it is obvious, that you don't know what you want as well." Murtogg states.

"Oh, but I do know."

"How could you possibly know what you want?" Murtogg asked.

"Because, I've been here before. I want crab cakes."

"Aye, an' what 'bout you?" Ana rested a hand on a hip.

"How could you have been here before, when I've never been here?"

"I've been here when you weren't." Mullroy said.

"But that's impossible, I'm always where you are."

"Well, you were sick."

"I've never been sick.

"Yes you have, remember, you had scurvy."

"I had scurvy meself once." Ana chimes in. The men stared at her.

"Who are you?" Murtogg asked.

"I'm tryin' to wait on you, what do ya want?" she asked again.

"Well, I guess I'll just have crab cakes." Murtogg decided.

"You can't have crab cakes."

"Why not?" Murtogg asked.

"Because, I'm having crab cakes."

Ana walked over to her manager.

"I quit!" she yelled.

"But, you only served three tables today!" her manager tried to yell, but Ana left.

Jack knocked on a door.

"Yeah?" a woman answered.

"Hello! So where is the mangy mutt?" Jack said, looking around.

"Excuse me?"

"There's a mutt here somewhere" Jack looked under a table._  
_

"Why do you smell like alcohol, and why are you wearing that silly hat? Oh my God, are you a burglar?" the woman jumped back.

"I'm much worse than that, I'm a pirate." Jack smiled, "Oh an a dog walker. Where's the dog? God knows it smells like one in here."

"Oh..um, the dogs are outside."

"Dogs? Plural?" Jack got closer.

"Now, there is Mimi, and she is just a darling dog, then there is Luna, and she's a bit neurotic, but don't worry about it. Then, we have rascal, and well, you can find out yourself. Oh, and of course there is Droopy, which is a basset hound, you have to really watch him, because his nose gets the best of him, and he runs away."

"Yes, right, whatever. Good day." Jack pushed her out the door.

Jack took the dogs to the park, after being bitten about ten times by Rascal._  
_

"Shut up you stupid bloody animals." Jack says, as he lets go of their leashes, "Go ahead, run! Come back in twenty minutes, or don't come back at all. Whatever!" Jack yells.

After thirty minutes_, _Jack looked around._  
_

"Where are those bloody dogs? You there!" Jack saw a person.

"Yes?" the person responds.

"Did you see a couple of dogs around here?" Jack asked.

"Yes, this is a park."

"Did you see _my_ dogs?" Jack asked again.

"What do they look like?" the person asked.

"One has kind of brownish, one is uh, spots..oh, I don't know what the hell they look like!" Jack yelled.

"I thought they were your dogs."

"You are certainly no help!" Jack walked away, angrily, and then sat on the ground.

"Jack?" Bootstrap Bill asked.

"Um, oh, it's you. Wait, it's YOU, what are you doin' here?" Jack asked, curiously.

"I'm takin' a stroll in the park, what are you doin'?"

"I was tryin' to find a dog, or er, dogs." Jack replied, "Okay, bye then." Jack rushed off.

"Wait, Jack. Where is my son?" Bootstrap stopped him.

"You really should keep a better eye on him." Jack suggested.

"Where's he?" Bootstrap asked again.

"He's 'round here somewhere, oh no, wait, he's in jail." Jack remembered.

"I knew he shouldn't have come here!" Bootstrap said, disgusted.

"You probably want to be reunited with William again, eh?"

"Well, yes, I do. He has a duty to do." Bootstrap stated.

"Aye, sure, whatever. I know how you can find him, an go back to whatever it was that you two were doin'." Jack said, slyly.

"How?"

"By doin' me job!" Jack smiled.

"Your job?"

"You just have to walk some mutts around. Er, right now their missin', but I'm sure you'll find 'em in no time."

"I don't know, it sounds like you just want me to do your job for you." Bootstrap said, thinking it sounded kind of like what his son did to him.

"I do! But, don't forget about William, I'll tell you how to get there." Jack said.

"Okay, it's a deal." Bootstrap agreed.

"Just go find the dogs, there's I don't know, seven of them or somethin', they won't have people with them obviously, so just bring them back here when you find 'em!"

"Fine." Bootstrap left_. _After about five hours he returned._  
_

"You look bloody awful, mate." Jack scrunched his face.

"I'm an old man! I shouldn't be runnin' around after animals!"

"Good for you. Give me those dogs." Jack grabbed their leashes.

A few hours later, Jack finally returned back to the owner's house._  
_

"Where have you been all day?" she asked, worried.

"I was havin' such a good time. I didn't even know it was dark."

"Oh, well they all look..wait, where is Droopy?" the owner looked around, nervously.

"Hm?" Jack didn't know.

"Droopy, where is he?"

"Oh, my. Yes, Droopy, what has happened?" Jack looked around.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO DROOPY?" the woman got closer to Jack.

"He was just there a second ago." Jack shrugged.

"OH MY GOD! MY DROOPY!" the woman fell to the ground.

"Hm, well, ain't that interestin'?"

"NO! It's not! I want my Droopy!" she cried.

"You know, I don't like to see people, er, a _woman_ upset." Jack said, and sat next to her.

"Can you just leave?" she cried some more.

"Well, I would, but there seems to be a problem here."

"Of course there is! You suck at walking dogs!_" _she cried._  
_

"You know, I have a dog meself." Jack said.

"So?_" _she sniffled._  
_

"He's on me huge ship." Jack smirked.

"Your ship? Like what, a sailboat?" she said, wiping her nose on Jack's jacket.

"SAILBOAT? It's a real ship!"

"Oh, you're real serious about your shtick aren't you?" she asked.

"I'm no shtick! I'm a real pirate, and I have me a ship." he said getting up.

"Oh okay, and there is a dog on it?"

"Aye, and uh, you can have it." Jack smiled.

"Really?" the woman smiled.

"Of course!"

"When?" she asked.

"Er, tomorrow, but you need to pay me in advance for the week." Jack said.

"Why should I do that? You just lost my dog!"

"Because, uh, I'll let you stay on me ship, and you can travel the world, and you can even bring your other things, or, dogs, I mean."

"Really?" she asked.

"Aye!"

"Well, okay, but when can I.." she trailed off.

"Soon, very soon, no worry. Goodbye!" Jack ran off.

"Okay, goodbye." the woman smiled, and closed her door.

Unfortunately for Jack, he ran back into Bootstrap.

"I did what you asked, now how do I find William? Bootstrap asked.

"Right, you just take a right, and then a left, go straight, take another left, and right, then on the right side or left side, there it is."

"What?" Bootstrap asked.

"Exactly, good luck, mate." Jack jumped onto a tree limb, and disappeared.


	13. Kicked Out

A few days later, everyone, except for Davy Jones was sitting in a circle in the living room.

"Okay, so, how much did everyone earn this week?" Elizabeth asked.

No one answered, and everyone stared back at her._  
_

"Hello? People! Put the money on the table, we are going to save up all the money for Will." Elizabeth said.

Jake put money on the table.

"Who did you steal that from?" she asked.

"No one." Jack smirked.

"You're telling me, Jack Sparrow, that you did what you were supposed to do?"

"Captain, and aye..in me own way." he replied.

"I'm impressed, okay, and what about everyone else?" Elizabeth looked at everyone else, and they continued to stare.

"I quit me job, on the first day." Ana admitted.

"Are you kidding me? You slacker!" Elizabeth pushed her.

"Give me a break! A bunch of losers went there, and I had to say "argh!" every time I waited on someone! I'm not just some stupid pirate from a movie!"

"But, you kind of are." Elizabeth shrugged.

"Aye..okay you got me."

James clears his throat, "Um, Elizabeth, I didn't exactly get paid."

"Oh, when do you get paid?" Elizabeth asked.

"Um...well, never."

"Huh?"

"You see, there was a little misunderstanding, very little. I was sort of fired." James said.

"James! Can you do ANYTHING right?"

"I had to use the cash register! They use different money!"

"I thought you said you knew how to use one! You can't count money?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well, yes! But, no!"

"James..please..you are _such_ a loser." Elizabeth folded her arms.

"I lied, and so what? You do all the time!"

"Zip it, Norrington. You people are pathetic! Even Jack did his job!"

Jack smiled at the comment._  
_

"What about you Calypso?"

"I use me pay for da groceries, and me personal items." Tia said.

Elizabeth let out a breath, "Calypso, my husband is in jail, and we need the money to get him out, you are apart of the house just like everyone else, now please, do you have ANY money?"

"No, I use da money for me groceries, and me personal items." she repeated.

"UGH! Where is Davy, anyway?"

"In da shower, where do ya tink he is?" Tia said.

Elizabeth ran into the bathroom.

"DAVY JONES! You are going to listen to me once and for all!"

Davy snapped his weird claw hand.

"Where is your pay? I'm not leaving this bathroom till you give it to me."

Davy disappeared.

"Where did he go?" Elizabeth ran into another room.

"Do not run away from me! Give me your money!" Elizabeth yelled.

Davy disappeared again.

"AHH!" Elizabeth screamed.

"He's in here Liz!" Ana yelled.

"Davy Jones, stop the nonsense. Where is your pay? We need it for Will." Elizabeth tried to calm down.

"I didn't go." Davy said.

"WHAT? I'm going to strangle you!" Elizabeth ran over to strangle Jones, but he started snapping his weird claw hand.

"Break it up! Can't we all just get along?" Ana asked.

"No! I must get Will out of jail!"

"Ahem, Lizabeth?" Jack said.

"Not now Jack, I need to kill fish face." Elizabeth said, holding a broom, trying to finger out how to get at Jones.

"Lizabeth, where be_ yer_ pay?" Jack asked.

"Excuse me?" Elizabeth stopped.

"Yes, Elizabeth, where is it?" James asked.

"Aye!" Ana joined.

"Mhm." Tia said.

Davy snapped his claw.

"Um..I was mugged!" Elizabeth lied.

"Elizabeth you are lying!" James folded his arms.

"Am not! There was this guy, he almost killed me!"

"You are!" Ana yelled.

"FINE! I despise you all!" Elizabeth collapsed.

"Were you fired?" Ana asked.

"Ugh, yes. I was sword-fighting." Elizabeth said, shyly.

"Hey! We aren't allowed swords." James said.

"It was a plastic one.." Elizabeth corrected.

"Now what?" James asked.

"First things first, Davy, you are excluded, pack your bags!" Elizabeth yelled.

"You silly little wench! I'm not goin' without Calypso!" Davy yelled, splashing some water around.

"Wait a minute! We didn't all agree to this." James said.

"I've had enough of Davy Jones, all he does is stay in the shower, and not do anything. I ask him to get a job, and he doesn't do it! I've had enough!"

"She's right, you barely exist here, Jones." James agreed.

"Aye."

"But he's me Davy Jones!" Tia exclaimed.

"I don't care! My William isn't here either! Get over it! What do you vote Jack?"

"Um, uh..aye.."

"I will put a curse on you Miss Turner, you shall eternally suffer!" Tia yelled.

"Oh, whatever, you crazy old bat. He doesn't clean, wash dishes, he doesn't put gas in the car, he leaves food everywhere, he doesn't clean his stupid shower.."

"If he goes, I go!" Tia yelled.

"Fine, leave." Elizabeth said.

"Oh my god! Can you do that?" Ana asked.

"Yes, but you all have to agree." Elizabeth said.

"Well, I'm sorry Calypso, but you really don't pitch in around here, so I vote for you to leave.." James said.

"Aye.." Jack mumbled.

"Sorry, love." Jack smiled at Ana.

"I guess that's my vote too.." Ana said.

"Goodbye, and good riddance you two!" Elizabeth yelled.

"Dis won't be da last of us Miss Turner!" Tia said, leaving the house with her groceries.

Later that day, the rest of the housemates sat together.

"It's weird, there's only four of us now." Ana said.

"Yes, but I don't miss them." James laughed.

"There is five! You are forgetting my husband." Elizabeth cried.

"Aye...right..."

"Jack, we need a plan to get him back." Elizabeth said to him.

"Oh, and you think just 'cause I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, I'll come up with some wonderful, magical plan eh?" Jack asked.

"Well, yes, kind of. Also, you're not James, so it has to be better."

"Hey!" James didn't appreciate that comment.

"We don't need the whelp." Jack said.

"That is my husband you are talking about! You wouldn't have done your job if you didn't want to get him back." Elizabeth said.

"Why can't dear William just get himself out? He's a blacksmith." Jack said, with his mouthful.

Everyone looked at each other.

"OH MY GOD! Let's go!" Elizabeth yelled.

Elizabeth, Jack, and Ana were in the car. James apparently had something to do.

"Why wouldn't he just come back to the house?" Ana asked.

"I don't know, maybe he's lost, and doesn't know how to get back." Elizabeth said, driving erratically.

Jack laughed.

"Oh please." Elizabeth said.

"Well where are we supposed to look?" Ana asked.

"Just look around for him." Elizabeth said, as the all looked out the window of the van.

"There's a person of interest." Jack pointed.

"Where?" Elizabeth said, swerving off the road.

"Nevermind, they want a ride."

"Pull over, and see if they need help." Ana demanded.

"You crazy bitch! No!" Elizabeth yelled. Ana grabbed the wheel, and pulled up along side a man.

"Excuse me, do you need help? Ana asked.

"Why, yes, I could use a ride." the person said.

"Too bad! Ana, get out of the way, I'm driving." Elizabeth yelled.

"Elizabeth, you don't know how to drive a car. Maybe you shouldn't be driving." James suggested.

"I need to find my husband!" Elizabeth screamed.


	14. New Roommate

"Elizabeth, maybe it's time ta give up, and go back ta the house." Ana suggested.

"No, I must find William." Elizabeth said, with a strange gaze on her face.

"Ya been goin' around in circles for four hours now.." Ana explained.

"That's ridiculous. How would you know, anyhow? We are surrounded by trees." Elizabeth said.

"Because, that tree is fallen, and we just passed it for the seventh time." Ana rolled her eyes.

Elizabeth slammed on the breaks, and everyone fell forward.

Elizabeth starts to cry hysterically, "I don't know where William is. I don't know how to drive. I don't know where I'm going. We have passed this area ten times." Elizabeth cried, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!"

Jack looked around, scared like.

"There there, Lizabeth." Jack patted her awkwardly, "And it was at least twenty times that.."

"SHUT UP, AND DON'T TOUCH ME!" she cried.

Everyone sat back, and looked out their windows, while Elizabeth cried.

After a few moments, Jack noticed someone, "Ay, isn't that your dear William?" Jack asked.

"Jack, SHUT UP!" Elizabeth cried some more.

"Aight then." Jack said, leaving the car, Ana following him.

"Great, good. Now Jack has gone. Ana has gone. James has probably gotten himself lost on the beach, never to be heard from again." Elizabeth sobbed to herself.

Elizabeth looked out the car window, "Why in the world are they talking to Will in a time like this?" she asked herself, "WILL!" she ran.

"WILLIAM! YOU'RE HERE!" Elizabeth yelled.

"ELIZABETH!" Will replied, hugging Elizabeth, "You have no idea what I've been through!"

"Oh my goodness, where were you? We realized you probably escaped from the cell, and came looking for you." she explained.

"Yes, I did escape. I warned them, but they didn't listen. I've been walking back, trying to find the house. For some reason I keep walking in circles." Will said.

Jack rolled his eyes, "You two are just perfect for each other." he grinned.

"That's okay, now you're back." Elizabeth smiled, "And we can start all over."

"Yes, but they will be after me, and not just the police." Will said, "You know that story James told us, the one that sounded like his wig was on too tight. Well it's true! There are these people in the woods, Elizabeth! They are after me now!"

"You're tired, and sick." Elizabeth said, "You need to go home and rest."

"You don't believe me?" Will frowned.

"Why would she believe a bloody story like that?" Jack asked, "I've never heard something so...well...then again.." Jack said, thinking about some of his past experiences.

"You believe me, right Jack?" Will asked.

"Nah." Jack shook his head.

"Let's get you home." Elizabeth said, pulling on Will.

"But.." Will tried to explain, but Elizabeth pulled him back to the car.

* * *

James went into town, he needed a break away from the pirates, and secretly, he didn't want to find Will. He needed to do some thinking. He sat at the Tortuga bar drinking.

"I love her, you know? But I just can't do anything right." James sunk his head.

"Yeah." the bar tender replied.

"You don't care. I thought you were a bartender, you are supposed to give me words of wisdom." James said.

"Did ya try to impress her?" the bar tender asked.

"Yes, and things just always go wrong." James said.

"You're tryin' too hard." the bar tender said, "Try something simpler than whatever you are doing."

"I don't know how much simpler I can get. I already tried being friendly." James explained.

"Get her some flowers, or something." he replied, "They love that stuff."

"Get her flowers?" James asked, "I don't think she's the type that likes flowers.."

"Trust me on this one, will ya?" The bar tender said.

"Well, if you say so." James said.

James left the bar, and went to a tiny local flower shop.

"Excuse me, I would like to buy some flowers." James said.

An old woman came walking over, "What do ya need, deary?" she asked.

"Well, I need some flowers for the woman I love." James smiled, excitedly.

"Alrighty." the woman said, "What kinda flowers do you want?"

"Well, I don't know.." James said, "Those, and those, and maybe those over there." James pointed them out.

"Alright."

The woman spent some time getting them arranged.

"Okay, here ya go." The woman said.

"Thanks!" James said.

"Okay, that will be one hundred, and fifty dollars." she said.

"Excuse me?" James asked.

The woman smiled, "We arrange the best flowers in the area."

James looked at her annoyed, "That isn't going to work. Let's see.." he reached into his pockets.

"There." He smiled, as he put two coins on the table.

"What is that?" she asked.

"That should surely be enough for these." James said.

"I don't think so..." The woman looked at him oddly.

"LISTEN I NEED THESE FLOWERS!" James yelled.

"Sorry." The woman shrugged.

James grabbed the flowers out of her hand, "Sorry, have a nice day!" he said, and remembered to grab the coins he left for her, and ran out of the store.

As James got further away from the store, he slowed down, and looked happily at his flowers. _Maybe Elizabeth will like them_, he thought. James continued to walk, and found himself walking through the woods with his flowers.

"Hm, I'm not so sure I know where I am."

James looked around, feeling slightly paranoid.

"It's awfully dark and gloomy through here." he said to himself.

He stopped when he saw a figure stand before him.

"Um, h-hello there." He greeted the member.

"You come with us." a man said, wearing strange clothing.

James sat in a strange building.

"I don't think I belong here, I'll just be going, thank you so much, you've been so kind.." James stood up.

A man stood blocking the doorway.

"You will be joining our cult."

"N-no thank you, you see, I'm part of the Royal Navy, and I just don't think that would look very good, if you know what I mean." James smiled.

"Why do you have flowers?" the man asked.

"Oh, yes, these are for the woman I love." James said, "That's why I must be going, surely you understand."

"No." the man said.

"Haven't I, um, haven't I seen you before...yes...we met once before, I do remember." James said.

"Yes. We have been looking for you." the man said, "You are going to join our cult, we could use you, and you know a man by the name of Will Turner."

"William? Um no that name doesn't ring a bell." James shook his head.

"Do not lie to us, we know." he said.

"Well maybe I've seen him in passing, but I really don't..."

The man put a sword to his neck.

"Hey, where did you get those? Are you pirates?" James asked.

"No we just like swords." he replied, "Anyway, we want William Turner."

"Why?" James asked.

"We just do, and you will bring him to us."

"I don't know if..." James began, and then the sword got closer to his neck.

"Yes, I can do that, I can definitely do that." James nodded.

"Good. Bring him back to us, and you will be rewarded." The man said.

"Rewarded? What kind of reward?" James asked.

"If I told you it would ruin the suspense." He replied.

"Oh." James said.

"Now leave, and bring him here as soon as possible."

James left the odd building, and started walking back to the house again. Finally making it there a few hours later.

"Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" James yelled, walking into the house.

"Now Will, you just relax here on the couch, you had a long day." Elizabeth said, "James, where have you been?"

"Elizabeth!" James yelled, "William..hello..."

"Hello, James." Will said.

"What do you want?" Elizabeth asked.

"Oh, uh, well, I guess it can wait." James said.

"Who are those flowers for?" Elizabeth asked.

"No one, no one, I just like flowers..." James replied.

"Well, that's awfully queer of you Norrington." Jack said.

"Oh! James is there a special someone that you got those for?" Elizabeth smiled.

"Well, as a matter of fact there is..." James said, "Yes, uh, here you go Ana, these are for you."

"I don't want flowers." Ana said.

"No, Ana you do, take them." James smiled.

"No, I really don't like flowers, I have allergies." Ana sneezed.

"No, take them, here you go." James pushed them to her.

"James, I said I don't want them."

"ANA TAKE THE DAMN FLOWERS!" James yelled.

"Here, let me have them, I'll put them in a vase." Elizabeth said, "That's really not very nice of you Ana, James is just trying to be nice."

"Why are you in such a good mood all of a sudden?" Ana asked.

"Oh, well, Will is back. Tia and that ugly man are gone. Everything finally seems to be good." Elizabeth said.

"Yes, everything is just lovely." James snarled.

"James, you really should be on some type of medication, you are so depressing." Elizabeth muttered, "We just need to hide William for awhile, and everything will be just fine the rest of the time I am stuck here..I mean, the rest of my lovely time here with you all."

Suddenly the door opens.

"Ay! Where be the rum?" A man asks.

"Barbossa?" Elizabeth drops the vase in her hand.

"Uh oh." Jack tweaked.

"Hello, Jack." Barbossa greeted.


	15. William's Dead

"What in the bloody hell are you doin' here?" Jack asked.

"What? Didn't plan on seein' me?" Barbossa replied.

"No." Everyone replied.

"Please do not tell me you are stayin' here." Jack pleaded.

"Why hello Mr. and Mrs. Turner." Barbossa greeted.

Jack winced.

"Hello, Barbossa. We weren't expecting you to uh, stop by..." Elizabeth said.

"Oh, I'm not stopin' by. I'm stayin' here." Barbossa corrected.

William rolled his eyes, and sighed.

"Oh, well that's lovely. William and I will tell you everything. After all, you did marry us." Elizabeth said.

"Wait, why is Mr. Turner here?" Barbossa asked.

"Well..." Elizabeth sighed.

"I didn't want to do my duty okay? It really sucks." William said, "I want everyone to stop hassling me about it."

"You coulda told us that before Jack made you stab the heart." Barbossa started to laugh, "Right Jack?"

"Aye..." Jack muttered.

"William is feeling a little under the weather, don't mind him. Why don't you sit down." Elizabeth said.

Ana and Jack looked at each other.

"When is she gonna stop actin' like that?" Jack whispered.

"I dunno." Ana replied.

"It was a long Journey here." Barbossa said, sitting down, "By the way Jack, why aren't you with your precious pearl?"

"It's in a teeny tiny bottle, and I can't get it out, alright?" Jack said.

"This sounds like a new movie. Will you need me this time?" Ana asked, "Please oh please say yes." she begged.

"No, I already have a lady friend, you will not be needed." Jack waved her off.

"Lady friend?" Ana asked.

"What? Jack, you have a lady friend?" Elizabeth chimed in.

"Oh, here we go.." Jack said, "Ladies, ladies, of course! What is a pirate without a lady friend, no offense there Barb.." Jack grinned.

"Well, who is it?" Elizabeth asked.

"None of your business." Jack said, turning his back.

"Tell me, I must know." Elizabeth said.

"Well...if you really must know, it's Angelica Teach. Never heard of her aye? Yes, well, it's nothing, really." Jack said.

"Aye, I've heard of her. She's a real pirate." Ana nodded.

"This is utter nonsense. What about me? I am the best female pirate there ever was." Elizabeth said.

"Elizabeth, you gave up that life, remember? You have a son somewhere you aren't taking care of." Jack explained.

"Excuse me, may I say something?" James asked.

"No!" Everyone shouts.

"Okay, first of all! Jack, you love me, every man I've ever come in contact with loves me! And you William, you left me alone with some child, while you are off doing who knows what, while everyone thinks you are doing some marvelous duty!" Elizabeth yelled.

"Not this again.." William said.

The door opens again, and a female emerged.

"Hello!" Angelica yelled, "Sorry I'm late, but I had some curses to do."

"Who in God's name is that?" William asked.

"Yes! Stop right there! Tell me your name before you go any further!" Elizabeth yelled, pulling out an umbrella to use as a sword.

"Oh my." James says, putting his head in his hand.

"Stop, everyone stop!" Jack yelled, putting his hands in the air.

"What are yew doin' here?" Jack asked, "Go back from where you came."

"No." Angelica said, "Hello, miss, my name is Angelica."

"Get out! I hate you!" Elizabeth yelled, trying to stab her with the umbrella.

"What are you tryin' to do there, lady? Do you really think you could beat me in a fight?" Angelica asked.

"I-I'm sure of it!" Elizabeth said.

"Fine. Huzza!" Angelica grabbed another umbrella.

They began fighting, knocking everything in their path over, as everyone else ducked and covered.

"Oh dear." James said, hiding under the coffee table.

"This is just wrong." William said, next to James, "But Angelica is fairly attractive, huh?"

James squinted back at him, "Sure.."

"Look at what you did." Ana said to Jack, they were hiding behind the kitchen counter.

"What did I do?" Jack asked, "See what happens when I tell the truth?"

"It happens when you don't tell the truth as well." Ana said.

"Where is me damn monkey?" Barbossa asked, walking around the room.

"I'm the only female pirate in this franchise sweetie!" Elizabeth yelled, swinging.

"Not anymore! You're a lost cause, sister!" Angelica yelled back.

"Take that, and that!" Elizabeth swung.

"You're not even hittin' me, you wench!" Angelica laughed.

"Hey, I'm enjoying this." William smiled.

"Oh shut up, you eunuch." James said.

William shot him a dirty look.

"You look like a sleazy whore!" Elizabeth yelled, standing on the couch.

"And you look like a Mary-Sue!" Angelica said, almost hitting Elizabeth with her umbrella.

"That's it!" Elizabeth said, jumping on Angelica.

"Now they are rolling around." William said.

"Hm, listen, William. I think we both love the same woman." James said.

"Oh, I don't love her, I just said she was attractive." William nodded.

"No, no, I mean Elizabeth." James said.

"Listen, James, it isn't going to happen. We are married." William said.

"That's exactly what I was going to say." James said, "Why not let bygones be bygones, how would you like to go for a, um, a walk with me?" James asked.

"That's strange, a walk? Why?" William asked.

"Er, so Elizabeth can see that we are no longer enemies, and everything is well." James smiled.

"Okay, I guess I can understand that." William nodded in agreement.

Elizabeth and Angelica were both sprawled out on the floor.

"Elizabeth, James and I are going for a walk." William said, getting out from under the table.

"Okay, don't be long." Elizabeth said, panting on the floor.

"Truce?" Angelica asked.

"Fine, truce." Elizabeth said.

"Can we get out now?" Ana asked.

Elizabeth slowly got up, and brushed herself off.

"Well, now that the house is a mess, what are we gonna do?" Angelica asked.

"Well...we do have new roommate." Ana smirked.

"So?" Elizabeth sighed.

"Let's go to Tortuga!" Ana exclaimed.

* * *

"You know, now that I think about it, it's really very silly. Why would I love Elizabeth?" James laughed.

"Yes, you two really don't make a good couple." William laughed.

"Absolutely, and she runs around with pirates everywhere, and practically looks like a wench." James smiled.

"Hey, she's not a wench." William said, angrily.

"No, no, of course not, did I say wench? I meant a bench." James said.

"That makes no sense." William stated.

"No, it doesn't, does it?" James smiled, "Anyway, William, this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship I believe."

"I hope so. It's about time." William said, "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Just to a friend's house." James smirked.

"You have friends?" William asked.

"Of course I do. I've met many a person here." James said, "It will be good for us to get away from all the hub bub, won't it?"

"I suppose it will." William smiled.

* * *

Elizabeth and Ana sat at the bar, drinking rum.

"Hey, have you seen William anywhere?" Elizabeth asked.

"He went on a walk wit James." Ana said.

"What? When did that happen?" Elizabeth asked.

"Earlier, do you pay attention to anything he does?" Ana asked.

"That's odd. They hate each other. I guess he will be alright. It's dark out." Elizabeth said.

"Now, listen, Angelica." Jack said, "You are me favorite wen- I mean lady, that I ever met, really you are." he nodded.

"I'm supposed to believe that?" Angelica huffed.

"Ana-Maria, and t-that what's her face, Elizabeth? How could they ever mean anything to a real pirate like me?" Jack laughed.

"I don't know, Elizabeth seems to have a liking to you." Angelica said.

"Yes, well, I'm charming at times, it's hard not to love me." Jack said.

"Charming? You're a dog." Angelica sneared.

"That hurts." Jack said, "But really, how did you get here? I thought I left you on that island?"

"Dolphens." Angelica smiled.

"Dolphens, I must try that sometime." Jack said.

* * *

"Now, William. You wait out here, let me go inside, and see if anyone is home, my friends don't like when people they don't know just show up." James said, walking over to the door.

"Oh, um, okay." William said.

The door opened slightly, and an eye peeked out.

"I have him outside." James whispered.

The man nodded, and shut the door.

"James walked back over to William, "It will just be a minute, I guess the place is a mess." he smiled.

William smiled back, and then suddenly everything went dark for him. His head was covered by something, and he was forced into the house.

James smiled, and began walking back to the house.

* * *

"I tink I'm your side Liz." Ana said.

"What do you mean you're on my side?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't like that girl, Angelica, she's taking all the spotlight off of us." Ana frowned.

"We must rid of her." Elizabeth grinned.

"How are we gonna do that? She'll turn us into toads or somethin'." Ana said.

"Let's just get her drunk, and see what happens." Elizabeth smiled.

Elizabeth and Ana walked over to Jack and Angelica.

"Let me buy you a drink for all the trouble I caused you." Elizabeth smiled.

"Fine." Angelica said, taking another drink.

"Want another one?" Elizabeth asked.

"Alright then, but you better get me away from Jack." Angelica laughed.

"Oh yes, we will get you away from Jack." Elizabeth smirked.

"Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" James said, running over, "I was looking for you!"

"James, what in the world do you want, I-I'm busy." Elizabeth spatted.

"No, it's serious, William is dead!" James yelled.

"Wait a minute. Stop everything." Jack said, "Now. Is this, turning blue, not breathing, in the ground death, or is this somewhat alive, somewhat dead, here or there, there or here, silly curse, voodoo, spell death?" Jack asked.

"Um, he's dead, really dead." James said.

"Great! Let's celebrate, rum for all!" Jack exclaimed.

"When, where, how? What?" Elizabeth said.

"The cult got him, and killed him, I saw it all." James said.

"What!" Elizabeth screamed.

"He's dead. There's nothing anyone can do. I tried to save him." James shrugged.

Elizabeth began to stare, and then squatted down, "What in the world am I to do? My life is now pointless."

"No! It's not pointless, remember, you didn't really love him, you thought he was boring." James said.

"Well, well, yes, that's true..." Elizabeth stood up, staring, "But things were starting to get better."

"Wait a minute, what cult? You mean that stupid made up thing you both went on about?" Ana asked.

"It's not made up. They killed him, and they almost killed me that one time." James said.

"JAMES YOU STUPID JERK, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HIM!" Elizabeth began to beat on James.

"I'm extremely drunk." Angelica laughed, "Who's William, anyway?"

"I'm sorry Elizabeth! It was hopeless!" James said.

"Yes, yes, hopeless. That is my life now...hopeless." Elizabeth cried, "I'm going to go home now, and sit in the dark..."

"Wait, Elizabeth, no.." James tried to stop her.

"Nice try James." Jack said, "He's not really dead is he?"

"Well, I don't know, he could be technically, but I didn't actually witness anything." James said.

"Now look what you done, Elizabeth is goin' to spend the rest of the time bein' miserable, sulkin' in her room. You really messed things up this time." Jack laughed.

"She will come around. Now that he is gone, she will realize she loves me." James smiled.

"Yeah, sure." Jack said.

* * *

Elizabeth sat in her dark room, alone.

"Hello, Elizabeth." James said, returning home.

"La la la la la.." Elizabeth sang, sitting on her bed.

"I said, hello Elizabeth." James said.

"LA LA LA LA LA LA.." Elizabeth sang.

"Oh dear..." James said.

"What is wrong with her?" Ana asked.

"I..I think she has gone mad." James said, "Elizabeth, I'm sorry for what has happened. William may be gone, but you still have me, a-and the others."

"La la la la ..."

"Elizabeth, I love you!" James said, "I always have, and I always will! I'm sorry things have gotten to this point, but I love you!"

"Oh God.." Ana walked away.

"La la la la.."

"If only you married me, none of this would happen!" James said.

"Married." Elizabeth said.

"What?" James asked.

"Yes, let's get married. Right now." Elizabeth said.

"But you were just catatonic." James said.

"C'mon James, let's go." Elizabeth said, grabbing his arm.

"Everyone! Everyone! Jack and Angelica stop fooling around on the couch, and Ana shut up for two seconds!" Elizabeth tried to get everyone's attention.

Everyone stopped, and looked.

"James and I are to be married!" Elizabeth said.

"But you can't do that." Ana said.

"Yes I can, and I am!" Elizabeth smiled.

Jack pushed Angelica off the couch, "And when might I ask is this little celebration goin' to happen?"

"Tomorrow morning!" Elizabeth replied.


End file.
